Tuesday, January 31, 2006

... thirty years too late?

in soviet russia, in a small talent agency run from a cupboard in the back of a small balalaika club, a man walks in. he stinks of vodka, as if the effort to walk in the door has taken an enormous amount of georgian courage (like dutch courage, but with vodka... in crates) to perform. the talent agent squints at the man from behind glasses with slightly the wrong prescription and he says, "greetings, tovarisch! what do you want?"

the man replies, "i have an act for you. with my family. a family act."

the agent spreads his hands in a universal gesture of [i can probably help you but i'm going to need a lot of money to do it] and says, "the mother russia is full of family acts, comrade."

"not like this," the man says, shaking his head. "it's... subversive. you could be arrested for even hearing about it."

the talent agent narrowed his eyes. "tell me about this act."

"i set up a counter on the stage. my wife, my two children and my dog come onstage, dressed in their best clothes. i stand behind the counter and say, 'can i help you?' to my wife. she steps straight up to the counter without having to queue and replies, 'i would like to buy two happy meals and a royale with cheese.' i say, 'certainly madame.' i serve her and the children three hamburgers, with a side or two serves of french fries and two small coca-colas. then she gives me some money, i give her change, and she and the children sit down to eat, feeding small tidbits to the dog. and that's it."

the agent is aghast, unable to believe his ears, he stammers, "that's quite an act, tovarisch. what is it called?"

"the capitalists!"

Friday, January 27, 2006

... yay - achievement?

i've finally finished reading all the online cartoons on piled higher and deeper (see link on right). i don't know if this qualifies as an achievement, but it feels like one to me. no need to comment on this, just thinking out loud! ;)

olive tapenade and swiss cheese sandwiches will never, i think, get old-hat for me.

i don't eat enough chocolate yogo anymore. i kind of miss it, but i particularly don't buy it because they seem to be perpetually shrinking the size of the containers they come in. let's face it, they should just make them in a one-litre tub and have done with it. we all know that the little yogo you get in one tub isn't enough...

local time here is 14h47 and i'm only halfway through lunch. that's a sad indictment on how late i start my lunch, although i'm glad i make the time for lunch at all.

i'm reading poetry tonight. should be fun, although it's also likely to be rather warm.

i think i'm spiralling now. ciao.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

... disappointed

i'm usually disappointed with myself, but at the moment i'm particularly disappointed. this is why.

my last post promised great things, thoughts, prepared agrument. there's nothing. life got so busy around the Christmas period, leading on a camp, visiting friends and relations (i sound like rabbit from pooh), i lost all the fire i had in my belly about all the stuff, the "race riots" (not quite l.a. but big for sydney) that happened.

it's making me think a bit about how i think about life. i don't think i think that much about it, to be honest. if it doesn't affect me immediately (not personally - anyone who knows me knows how much personal stuff i put off too...) then oftentimes i just don't worry about it.

case in point: i had a bunch of stuff i had to return to scripture union after a camp last year, and i only just got it in. i'm not happy about it. i'm pretty much ashamed of myself. but it's been a big mental kick in the pants, and i hope and pray that when it rolls around this year i'll have the chance to prove myself capable of doing the right thing this time.

i hope i will. pray for me. that'd be a big help! :)