i'm typing this in editpad lite because typing it into the blogger page using opera can have some nasty typo side effects if you're not careful about what you're doing. i like using opera for its keyboard shortcuts and handy mouse-gesture shortcuts, but occasionally it bites if you scotch a bunch of stuff you just spent five minutes typing for what should have been a really quick post.
i was going to put up a follow-up post to my one on acts 15 but my opinions on the passage have not changed and i remain convinced that the application regarding table-fellowship is a natural outworking of the passage but not the main thrust of the passage itself.
i am going to say a few words about grace. ironic perhaps, given the vehemence of my previous paragraph, but heartfelt nonetheless.
i love that God loves me, that he sent Jesus to be punished for my rebellion against God and my inability to live up to God's righteous requirements for entry into his heavenly kingdom. i love that there's nothing anyone, not even i myself, can do to separate me from that love that God has shown in his work of salvation in Christ. i love that when i pray, my weak and distracted thoughts and words are transformed by the Holy Spirit's power and intercession into prayer that glorifies God and shows my life in submission to his will. i love that everything that makes me Christian is entirely an act of God and none of mine. it's very comforting.
relient k, in their song be my escape says, "the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair", and that's the truth because what we mere humans forget is that the definition of fair is not ours - it's God's. we say, "that's not fair!", because we feel it's not fair to us. it's like a dog barking to its owner that it's not fair that it's getting meaty-bites again!. it's not up to the dog what it eats - that's up to its master. we don't like to think of God being our master because to us, to our teensy-weensy pea-sized brains, it's not fair. do small children always know what's good for them? how do they learn? what's the best way? in the face of eternity, surely it's hubris to think that we know better than God what's good for us.
the thing i love most about the grace of God afforded those who after receiving it call themselves Christians is this: all you have to do is repent and believe the gospel. that's it. admit that you don't do things God's way, accept that Jesus' death is punishment for your sins laid on the one God chose to punish, trust that Jesus' resurrection is the preview of your own resurrection, and welcome the Holy Spirit into your heart and be changed by him.
that's it. you don't have to follow rules to become a Christian. you don't have to make some huge sacrifice. you don't have to sell your house. you don't have to quit smoking. you don't have to quit drugs. you don't have to leave your boyfriend and go back to your wife and family. you don't have to do any of these things to become a Christian. the offer is made to anyone with ears to hear and mouth to say "yes".
what you do after you become a Christian will reflect your understanding of what God has done and what he says his ideals are for your life. sometimes that means change, sometimes not. sometimes what you didn't have to change when you first became a Christian will become something that has to change as you mature in your faith. that happens in any relationship - some things you do with friends are only appropriate after years of friendship, some things you outgrow.
all the things i do that are wrong; all the things that are right that i don't do; all these things i repent of, now and for as often as you require of me, o God. search me, o God, and know my heart, test me and find all my evil, then lead me in ways that will be everlasting and i'll serve you, my God.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
... an interesting study (long post)
tonight we looked at acts 15:1-35. on the face of it, i suppose, that might not seem terribly exciting stuff - a disagreement on what does or doesn't make someone a Christian, an example of how the early church worked through the issue, and how the two disagreeing parties were to be reconciled afterwards. (in fact, just typing that brings a fresh light to my thinking on this as well - evolution in opinion on reflection! stay tuned...)
in brief, luke records that men had come down from judea to (syrian) antioch teaching that unless believers were circumcised according to the law of moses they could not be saved; that this led to much debate in the blended church in antioch and that a delegation, led by barnabas and paul, should go to jerusalem to discuss the matter; that the aopstles and elders met over the matter of mosaic lawkeeping for the new gentile Christians; that peter recounts God's work in the matter of cornelius, and paul and barnabas tell about the signs and wonders done among the gentile believers; that james refers to scripture (amos 9) regarding the inclusion of gentiles into israel; that the jerusalem council sends a letter advising the believers in antioch on the matter, and which is a joyful encouragement and strength for those who received it.
in our study, one question (after addressing verses 1-5 and 6-12) turned a simple reflection on decision-making into a lively debate on the deeper issue of the passage: "the issue appears to be the acceptance of gentiles. in fact the issue is far deeper. the very nature of what it means to be a Christian is under dispute". do you agree with this statement? the discussion came to a point after verses 13-21 through another question: what does james suggest as being the appropriate course of action? why?
on the surface, the judgement is rendered in verses 19-21:
"Therefore my judgment is that we should not trouble those of the Gentiles who turn to God, but should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from blood. For from ancient generations Moses has had in every city those who proclaim him, for he is read every Sabbath in the synagogues." [acts 15:19-21, esv]
"It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood. For Moses has been preached in every city from the earliest times and is read in the synagogues on every Sabbath." [acts 15:19-21, niv]
does this mean that gentile Christians are saved by grace and not required to obey the jewish law... except for these four rules? if four, why not three? or five? why not one, or even eight hundred-odd? peter says that the yoke of lawkeeping was too much for the jewish fathers to bear, so why lay it on the gentiles? and if this is so, does this then mean the council was deciding how light a yoke was kosher, so to speak?
why then these rules? the line taken by many in our study (and, it seems, many commentaries) is that these rules are about table fellowship - allowing the gentile Christians and jewish Christians sufficient common ground to be able to eat together without offending one another. jewish law was pretty strict about what was and wasn't okay to eat and gentiles might very well have eaten anything they pleased, provided it wasn't sacred to whatever god they happened to worship i suppose.
why then is that not spelled out in the letter that luke quotes for us in verses 23-29? (from... to... since... therefore... so, four rules... cheers!) why is there no exhortation to peace within the church in antioch? and i can't really see paul sitting comfortably for this: is this a get-out-of-getting-over-kosher-food free card from the jerusalem council for jewish Christians? when he writes to the romans about causing brothers to stumble, is paul talking about people eating food of questionable provenance (food sacrificed to idols) or of questionable ritual cleanness (not unclean according to moses)?
i do not see a question of table fellowship here at all, except in the working out of the liberty i see gentiles being afforded here. the rules they are given seem to me to have more to do with the way of life that many pagans would have had in the first century. temple prostitution and eating meat sacrificed in pagan temples were common practice; these rules would have set that way of life firmly in the "former way of life" category. paul's letter to the galatians is a clear exploration of exactly these issues: liberty from law permitting love that leads to peace.
what i see james saying here is to turn away from their old way of life (meat, blood, sexual immorality - temple cult) and not to worry about chasing after the jewish way of life (moses has been preached...). their old way of life was an empty worship of idols, and the jewish way of life was based not on grace but on works that were impossible to live up to. if this new liberty is to be taken seriously then table fellowship will be the natural consequence: jewish Christians will be freed from the food laws required in the law of moses; gentile Christians, saved by God's grace apart from law, will be gracious to those coming out from under it.
by returning at every point to the first principles of salvation - grace apart from works for jew and gentile alike - and the golden rule for a relationship with God - love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength - and with others - love your neighbour as yourself - surely a peaceful table must be the natural outworking! the council's words, "if you keep yourselves from these you will do well" ("these" being strangled and sacrificed meat, blood, sexual immorality) are very nearly the understatement of the first century!
i can see how a "table fellowship" understanding is borne from this passage now but i'm not convinced that was its primary purpose. the question prompting paul and barnabas' journey to jerusalem - did gentile Christians need to be circumcised to enjoy salvation? - was not a table fellowship question, but an earnest search to understand the nature of God's offer of salvation to the gentiles.
i'm still turning this over in my mind, but would love feedback, comment and discussion!
in brief, luke records that men had come down from judea to (syrian) antioch teaching that unless believers were circumcised according to the law of moses they could not be saved; that this led to much debate in the blended church in antioch and that a delegation, led by barnabas and paul, should go to jerusalem to discuss the matter; that the aopstles and elders met over the matter of mosaic lawkeeping for the new gentile Christians; that peter recounts God's work in the matter of cornelius, and paul and barnabas tell about the signs and wonders done among the gentile believers; that james refers to scripture (amos 9) regarding the inclusion of gentiles into israel; that the jerusalem council sends a letter advising the believers in antioch on the matter, and which is a joyful encouragement and strength for those who received it.
in our study, one question (after addressing verses 1-5 and 6-12) turned a simple reflection on decision-making into a lively debate on the deeper issue of the passage: "the issue appears to be the acceptance of gentiles. in fact the issue is far deeper. the very nature of what it means to be a Christian is under dispute". do you agree with this statement? the discussion came to a point after verses 13-21 through another question: what does james suggest as being the appropriate course of action? why?
on the surface, the judgement is rendered in verses 19-21:
"Therefore my judgment is that we should not trouble those of the Gentiles who turn to God, but should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from blood. For from ancient generations Moses has had in every city those who proclaim him, for he is read every Sabbath in the synagogues." [acts 15:19-21, esv]
"It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood. For Moses has been preached in every city from the earliest times and is read in the synagogues on every Sabbath." [acts 15:19-21, niv]
does this mean that gentile Christians are saved by grace and not required to obey the jewish law... except for these four rules? if four, why not three? or five? why not one, or even eight hundred-odd? peter says that the yoke of lawkeeping was too much for the jewish fathers to bear, so why lay it on the gentiles? and if this is so, does this then mean the council was deciding how light a yoke was kosher, so to speak?
why then these rules? the line taken by many in our study (and, it seems, many commentaries) is that these rules are about table fellowship - allowing the gentile Christians and jewish Christians sufficient common ground to be able to eat together without offending one another. jewish law was pretty strict about what was and wasn't okay to eat and gentiles might very well have eaten anything they pleased, provided it wasn't sacred to whatever god they happened to worship i suppose.
why then is that not spelled out in the letter that luke quotes for us in verses 23-29? (from... to... since... therefore... so, four rules... cheers!) why is there no exhortation to peace within the church in antioch? and i can't really see paul sitting comfortably for this: is this a get-out-of-getting-over-kosher-food free card from the jerusalem council for jewish Christians? when he writes to the romans about causing brothers to stumble, is paul talking about people eating food of questionable provenance (food sacrificed to idols) or of questionable ritual cleanness (not unclean according to moses)?
i do not see a question of table fellowship here at all, except in the working out of the liberty i see gentiles being afforded here. the rules they are given seem to me to have more to do with the way of life that many pagans would have had in the first century. temple prostitution and eating meat sacrificed in pagan temples were common practice; these rules would have set that way of life firmly in the "former way of life" category. paul's letter to the galatians is a clear exploration of exactly these issues: liberty from law permitting love that leads to peace.
what i see james saying here is to turn away from their old way of life (meat, blood, sexual immorality - temple cult) and not to worry about chasing after the jewish way of life (moses has been preached...). their old way of life was an empty worship of idols, and the jewish way of life was based not on grace but on works that were impossible to live up to. if this new liberty is to be taken seriously then table fellowship will be the natural consequence: jewish Christians will be freed from the food laws required in the law of moses; gentile Christians, saved by God's grace apart from law, will be gracious to those coming out from under it.
by returning at every point to the first principles of salvation - grace apart from works for jew and gentile alike - and the golden rule for a relationship with God - love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength - and with others - love your neighbour as yourself - surely a peaceful table must be the natural outworking! the council's words, "if you keep yourselves from these you will do well" ("these" being strangled and sacrificed meat, blood, sexual immorality) are very nearly the understatement of the first century!
i can see how a "table fellowship" understanding is borne from this passage now but i'm not convinced that was its primary purpose. the question prompting paul and barnabas' journey to jerusalem - did gentile Christians need to be circumcised to enjoy salvation? - was not a table fellowship question, but an earnest search to understand the nature of God's offer of salvation to the gentiles.
i'm still turning this over in my mind, but would love feedback, comment and discussion!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
... not one... but two!
two aussie movies!
lately it's been my dvd viewing that's been rather adventurous, hardly renting a film i've already seen. tonight i went to go see two new aussie movies - kenny and 2:37.
both fantastic, and more about each later, perhaps. for now, my gut reactions:
kenny was great; light-hearted and warm, it is without a doubt the next castle. the lead actor brings such a genuine warmth to the role, and eve von bibra (formerly of the chantoozies and a supporting role in the big steal) is a great surprise and i hope to see her in other movies. the story is great, and the toilet convention in nashville is awesome. amazingly light.
2:37, in stark contrast, was incredibly dark. the soundtrack, the washed-out, late summer colours, both perfectly reflect the harsh realities of the students' lives as depicted in this film. american high-school filmic reflections have a lot to learn from this australian outing, which has echoes of pump up the volume and the kind of bold approach to its material that we don't see in enough films these days. every parent in australia should see this film and promptly make an oath to spend another two hours a day hanging out with their kids - every day.
go see them both. kenny is rated M (mainly for swearing, i think); 2:37 is rated R and deservedly - strong themes and graphic visuals.
lately it's been my dvd viewing that's been rather adventurous, hardly renting a film i've already seen. tonight i went to go see two new aussie movies - kenny and 2:37.
both fantastic, and more about each later, perhaps. for now, my gut reactions:
kenny was great; light-hearted and warm, it is without a doubt the next castle. the lead actor brings such a genuine warmth to the role, and eve von bibra (formerly of the chantoozies and a supporting role in the big steal) is a great surprise and i hope to see her in other movies. the story is great, and the toilet convention in nashville is awesome. amazingly light.
2:37, in stark contrast, was incredibly dark. the soundtrack, the washed-out, late summer colours, both perfectly reflect the harsh realities of the students' lives as depicted in this film. american high-school filmic reflections have a lot to learn from this australian outing, which has echoes of pump up the volume and the kind of bold approach to its material that we don't see in enough films these days. every parent in australia should see this film and promptly make an oath to spend another two hours a day hanging out with their kids - every day.
go see them both. kenny is rated M (mainly for swearing, i think); 2:37 is rated R and deservedly - strong themes and graphic visuals.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
... (not quite) fully si(c)k
i hate being sick. i like to eat, but i really hate being sick.
i'm so utterly uninterested in being sick, it's probably impossible to plumb the depths of my dissatisfaction with the state of being sick. if a book was written to explain how little interest i have in being sick, it would be the literal neverending story.
my despite of being sick is probably bad enough, but when i theorise about the specifics of my sickness, diagnosing the symptoms, speculating on the internals of how my sickness is presenting... and then hear my doctor say the same things... well, i get a little bit despondant.
i thought, "well, there's no petichiae(?) that i can see, so it's probably not bubonic plague..."
boil going bad? pilenital sinus? ingrowing hair? infected sweat gland? something serious to do with a lymph node? (that last one would actually give me the heebie-jeebies a little bit...)
whatever it is, i have some kind of lump growing under my armpit. came up in only a day or so. i didn't do anything about it right away because sometimes these things just appear and vanish in equally speedy measure. two mornings after it first presented, however, i thought i'd better see the quack, if for no other reason than i'd like to be able to use my arm painlessly again. i feel like my underarm hair has become entangled and is being unknotted with every movement of my arm.
i'm on some drugs now, and hopefully they'll get the swelling down, and whatever is causing this will right itself.
i'm so utterly uninterested in being sick, it's probably impossible to plumb the depths of my dissatisfaction with the state of being sick. if a book was written to explain how little interest i have in being sick, it would be the literal neverending story.
my despite of being sick is probably bad enough, but when i theorise about the specifics of my sickness, diagnosing the symptoms, speculating on the internals of how my sickness is presenting... and then hear my doctor say the same things... well, i get a little bit despondant.
i thought, "well, there's no petichiae(?) that i can see, so it's probably not bubonic plague..."
boil going bad? pilenital sinus? ingrowing hair? infected sweat gland? something serious to do with a lymph node? (that last one would actually give me the heebie-jeebies a little bit...)
whatever it is, i have some kind of lump growing under my armpit. came up in only a day or so. i didn't do anything about it right away because sometimes these things just appear and vanish in equally speedy measure. two mornings after it first presented, however, i thought i'd better see the quack, if for no other reason than i'd like to be able to use my arm painlessly again. i feel like my underarm hair has become entangled and is being unknotted with every movement of my arm.
i'm on some drugs now, and hopefully they'll get the swelling down, and whatever is causing this will right itself.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
... the good with the bad
i enjoy eating.
i should be ashamed of it sometimes but most of the time i'm not at all ashamed of how much i enjoy eating. "food for the stomach and the stomach for food" - i know it's not how God wants us to look at the world and i recognise in certain moments how right he is... and at other times how wrong i am to sometimes believe it.
once upon a time, not so long ago, i was invited to lovely! pancakes. it always is in my mind lovely! pancakes even if that's not what it's called these days. pancakes at the rocks or some equally unimaginative name, i'm sure. lovely! pancakes used to have an old-fashioned newspaper-photo-in-lines (daguerrotype?) picture of an oliver twistian-woman with a knife and fork and steaming pancakes all cramped together in a very small logo. i remember seeing the same woman being used to advertise a production of oliver! around wollongong, i think.
i like eating pancakes, so i replied in the definite affirmative. we all met up (eventually) and sat down to a late brunch. i rather liked the look (in the menu illustration) of the sausages and hash browns, so i decided to go with that. with an extra sausage and hash brown because, tempting as it was, the photo in the menu was looked a tad spartan.
i was hoping for hash browns that looked as pancake-like as the photo implied. i was hoping for delicious sausages, although who goes around ordering sausages that they hope taste like sawdust i have no idea. i was neither hoping for nor expecting what i received - hash browns that looked like deep-fried julienned potatoes that were burned at the edges and raw in the centre, and sausages that looked like i had cooked them on a bbq (implication: i burn everything i put onto a bbq. except maybe water. maybe.)
obviously i was rather unimpressed with my lovely! pancakes brunch experience and while i'm happy to try their pancakes on future occasions i might suggest that they narrow their menu to what they can cook palatably. i was less unimpressed at not being able to get into the lovely! pancakes at north rocks for half an hour - i took it as a sign that lovely! pancakes was not to have my business for a while. such is life.
two of the same friends and i went on a road trip today, although i was told by an acquaintance that driving from sydney's north shore to wollongong hardly counted as a road trip. to that, while i understand where they're coming from in making the comment, i reply that my definition of a road trip is not merely a factor of distance travelled, nor is it a matter of destination per se, but rather that wherever we're going and however far it is, travelling with friends in the car is an integral part of the activity. if i were to go to wollongong on the train (as i am wont to do) it would be a day trip.
the gastronomic feature of the day was a stop at piato in the gateway on the mall (or whatever they call it now) for lunch. very nice food. a tad pricey if you're a cheapskate like me, but well worth the cash. i has a fantastic pumpkin risotto but better than that was the fetta mashed potato! mashed so smooth they were almost creamed, the fetta adding a delicious salty/smooth texture to already delicious smooth potato. worth another visit, i feel, and i must do my best to remember to order at least a side of the fetta mash.
i should be ashamed of it sometimes but most of the time i'm not at all ashamed of how much i enjoy eating. "food for the stomach and the stomach for food" - i know it's not how God wants us to look at the world and i recognise in certain moments how right he is... and at other times how wrong i am to sometimes believe it.
once upon a time, not so long ago, i was invited to lovely! pancakes. it always is in my mind lovely! pancakes even if that's not what it's called these days. pancakes at the rocks or some equally unimaginative name, i'm sure. lovely! pancakes used to have an old-fashioned newspaper-photo-in-lines (daguerrotype?) picture of an oliver twistian-woman with a knife and fork and steaming pancakes all cramped together in a very small logo. i remember seeing the same woman being used to advertise a production of oliver! around wollongong, i think.
i like eating pancakes, so i replied in the definite affirmative. we all met up (eventually) and sat down to a late brunch. i rather liked the look (in the menu illustration) of the sausages and hash browns, so i decided to go with that. with an extra sausage and hash brown because, tempting as it was, the photo in the menu was looked a tad spartan.
i was hoping for hash browns that looked as pancake-like as the photo implied. i was hoping for delicious sausages, although who goes around ordering sausages that they hope taste like sawdust i have no idea. i was neither hoping for nor expecting what i received - hash browns that looked like deep-fried julienned potatoes that were burned at the edges and raw in the centre, and sausages that looked like i had cooked them on a bbq (implication: i burn everything i put onto a bbq. except maybe water. maybe.)
obviously i was rather unimpressed with my lovely! pancakes brunch experience and while i'm happy to try their pancakes on future occasions i might suggest that they narrow their menu to what they can cook palatably. i was less unimpressed at not being able to get into the lovely! pancakes at north rocks for half an hour - i took it as a sign that lovely! pancakes was not to have my business for a while. such is life.
two of the same friends and i went on a road trip today, although i was told by an acquaintance that driving from sydney's north shore to wollongong hardly counted as a road trip. to that, while i understand where they're coming from in making the comment, i reply that my definition of a road trip is not merely a factor of distance travelled, nor is it a matter of destination per se, but rather that wherever we're going and however far it is, travelling with friends in the car is an integral part of the activity. if i were to go to wollongong on the train (as i am wont to do) it would be a day trip.
the gastronomic feature of the day was a stop at piato in the gateway on the mall (or whatever they call it now) for lunch. very nice food. a tad pricey if you're a cheapskate like me, but well worth the cash. i has a fantastic pumpkin risotto but better than that was the fetta mashed potato! mashed so smooth they were almost creamed, the fetta adding a delicious salty/smooth texture to already delicious smooth potato. worth another visit, i feel, and i must do my best to remember to order at least a side of the fetta mash.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
... and i was so ready to have a good day
i had planned to write a blog about how glad i was that God has blessed me in being able to read my Bible every work day for the last two and a half weeks. i just finished reading the gospel of john this morning and i'm ready to start ploughing through acts tomorrow, but it goes to show the insidiousness of the sinful nature that i now am ready to walk out of work and go home.
every workplace has tensions, people get on one another's nerves - it just happens. i don't question why it happens, i merely accept that it does. if anything, i question why it continues to happen when the Christians involved (at least) have a measure of understanding about what is happening (and why) and some spiritual recourse to alleviating the problem. one workplace i was in was in some ways extremely unpleasant to work in because it was full of Christians who didn't get along. it pains my heart and makes me just want to remove myself from the space i'm in, not least because i have my own outbursts too.
my plans to move to melbourne continue apace - i feel confident i will find work with little trouble, i expect to have a place to move into well before i arrive in january, and i think the hardest thing will be finding a new church. moments like this, however, tempt me to just hand in my notice and take the next train south, and it browns me right off that i feel that way. i don't think it's justified - i know that it's pride and selfishness, the sinful nature continuing to work out its consequences in my life. it gives me the irrits and i can't wait for Jesus to return simply so i never have to worry about it again - the sinful nature again, wanting God to salve my will and conscience, not simply and ultimately to reveal his glory.
so whoever you are, reading this, please pray for me, and for all Christians in workplaces, especially if they work mainly with Christians. pray for us to exhibit the marks of faith to one another that should be marking us to everyone as us having the Holy Spirit. faithfulness, gentleness, peace, patience, kindness, joy, goodness, self-control - love in all its outward forms driven by its inward abundance in our hearts by the grace of God.
and thank God that my Bible reading continues well. it's an interesting side-blessing of living so far away from work that God has provided me with ample travelling time for my quiet times!
every workplace has tensions, people get on one another's nerves - it just happens. i don't question why it happens, i merely accept that it does. if anything, i question why it continues to happen when the Christians involved (at least) have a measure of understanding about what is happening (and why) and some spiritual recourse to alleviating the problem. one workplace i was in was in some ways extremely unpleasant to work in because it was full of Christians who didn't get along. it pains my heart and makes me just want to remove myself from the space i'm in, not least because i have my own outbursts too.
my plans to move to melbourne continue apace - i feel confident i will find work with little trouble, i expect to have a place to move into well before i arrive in january, and i think the hardest thing will be finding a new church. moments like this, however, tempt me to just hand in my notice and take the next train south, and it browns me right off that i feel that way. i don't think it's justified - i know that it's pride and selfishness, the sinful nature continuing to work out its consequences in my life. it gives me the irrits and i can't wait for Jesus to return simply so i never have to worry about it again - the sinful nature again, wanting God to salve my will and conscience, not simply and ultimately to reveal his glory.
so whoever you are, reading this, please pray for me, and for all Christians in workplaces, especially if they work mainly with Christians. pray for us to exhibit the marks of faith to one another that should be marking us to everyone as us having the Holy Spirit. faithfulness, gentleness, peace, patience, kindness, joy, goodness, self-control - love in all its outward forms driven by its inward abundance in our hearts by the grace of God.
and thank God that my Bible reading continues well. it's an interesting side-blessing of living so far away from work that God has provided me with ample travelling time for my quiet times!
Friday, July 28, 2006
... i am a tool
i forget important stuff all the time and have a brain filled with the stupidest trivia ever. the Bible says that if your eye offends you, pluck it out; if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off; i sometimes think i need a lobotomy.
dorfl the golem, in terry pratchett's novel feet of clay, says, "either all days are holy or none are". i think of paul every day, with every abba song, with every doug anothony all-stars moment, with every chorus of the time warp, with every thought about going to the gym or playing squash.
so (belated) virtual hugs from me too, if you would like some.
dorfl the golem, in terry pratchett's novel feet of clay, says, "either all days are holy or none are". i think of paul every day, with every abba song, with every doug anothony all-stars moment, with every chorus of the time warp, with every thought about going to the gym or playing squash.
so (belated) virtual hugs from me too, if you would like some.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
... in the morning
i've been really tired. why that is, i'm not sure - i don't think i'm doing any more or less than i ever have before, and at 31 years of age i hate to start playing the "i'm not as young as i used to be" card. i'm up early, i plan for a snooze. i don't go to bed much later than i ever have before, but this week, i'm doing something i haven't done in a long time - i'm planning to be in bed by 9:30 each night. (except tuesaday night and thursday night - i have commitments with Bible study those nights!)
so i went to bed about 7:30 last night, and at about 8:30 (i think) my mother called with my health fund information for me to be able to do my income tax return. when i answered my mobile, i was shaking so hard it was almost like i was having an epileptic fit! i thought, "wow! it's really cold..." my housemate alex thinks i was in the grip of a fever.
i don't think i've ever had a fever before, not like this. i've never shaken so hard before from shivering, and while i don't mind shivering (it can feel good if you're in the wrong frame of mind, i guess...), this was rather more... energetic than i've ever felt before. not something i'm terribly keen to experience again.
it has made me think, though, that perhaps i treat my body with a little more contempt than it deserves. i've never had a terribly high self-image, for a combination of a bucketload of reasons, and one way of dealing with this has been to hold my flesh pretty much in contempt. i know that come the resurrection i'll get a new body, one that's perfect, one that won't be subject to the whimsy and decay of the sinful nature this side of glory. knowing that means that (in my sinful way) i think less of my body than i should.
i have a book by josh mcdowell called his image my image, which i grabbed in a moment of introspection some time back. i think, now that i have some time factored into my daily travel schedule for directed reading (as opposed to entirely recreational reading), i'll pick it up again and have a read. maybe walk up to where i get the bus to the city from, instead of getting another bus to that one. start taking a bit better care of myself.
crikey... it almost sounds like i'm beginning to be concerned about my health.
so i went to bed about 7:30 last night, and at about 8:30 (i think) my mother called with my health fund information for me to be able to do my income tax return. when i answered my mobile, i was shaking so hard it was almost like i was having an epileptic fit! i thought, "wow! it's really cold..." my housemate alex thinks i was in the grip of a fever.
i don't think i've ever had a fever before, not like this. i've never shaken so hard before from shivering, and while i don't mind shivering (it can feel good if you're in the wrong frame of mind, i guess...), this was rather more... energetic than i've ever felt before. not something i'm terribly keen to experience again.
it has made me think, though, that perhaps i treat my body with a little more contempt than it deserves. i've never had a terribly high self-image, for a combination of a bucketload of reasons, and one way of dealing with this has been to hold my flesh pretty much in contempt. i know that come the resurrection i'll get a new body, one that's perfect, one that won't be subject to the whimsy and decay of the sinful nature this side of glory. knowing that means that (in my sinful way) i think less of my body than i should.
i have a book by josh mcdowell called his image my image, which i grabbed in a moment of introspection some time back. i think, now that i have some time factored into my daily travel schedule for directed reading (as opposed to entirely recreational reading), i'll pick it up again and have a read. maybe walk up to where i get the bus to the city from, instead of getting another bus to that one. start taking a bit better care of myself.
crikey... it almost sounds like i'm beginning to be concerned about my health.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
... harvesting
i was reading my Bible this morning, trying to ingrain a (good) habit of making the train ride from the city to work my Bible-reading time, and hit upon the passage in matthew about the workers harvesting in the vineyard. the boss of the vineyard hires some guys at 6am and comes to a workplace enterprise agreement (is that what they're called?) with them for a denarius for the day's work. he gets some more guys around 9am, then noon, then 3pm, then finally at 5pm! all done, he starts paying them from the most recently-hired (the 5pm guys) and gives them a denarius, and when he gets back to the 6am-starters they get only a denarius too. disappointment all round for those guys, who seemed to be expecting raises.
the point of the passage is that the pay is up to the master of the vineyard, not the workers. it would have been understandable that jews who kept the torah should be upset that Jesus starts saying people need to repent and get right with God and thus be on even footing with "the righteous". imagine how they'd have felt knowing that serial killers and rapists and murderers - gentiles, the lot of them! - would be getting into heaven too!
it reiterates to me just how little i see the world from God's point of view and persist in using my own frame of reference. idiot that i am.
the point of the passage is that the pay is up to the master of the vineyard, not the workers. it would have been understandable that jews who kept the torah should be upset that Jesus starts saying people need to repent and get right with God and thus be on even footing with "the righteous". imagine how they'd have felt knowing that serial killers and rapists and murderers - gentiles, the lot of them! - would be getting into heaven too!
it reiterates to me just how little i see the world from God's point of view and persist in using my own frame of reference. idiot that i am.
... journalling
to whom it may concern ;)
i'm not going to post my journal until 22 july, owing to the delay in receipt of it at the last exchange. hopefully, it also allows time to return home, or send me an appropriate address to send it to.
cheers :)
i'm not going to post my journal until 22 july, owing to the delay in receipt of it at the last exchange. hopefully, it also allows time to return home, or send me an appropriate address to send it to.
cheers :)
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
... spicks and specks
please
please
please
if anyone i know ever hears me do what adam richard just did on spicks and specks (abc television, wednesday nights at 8.30), please shoot me.
please
please
if anyone i know ever hears me do what adam richard just did on spicks and specks (abc television, wednesday nights at 8.30), please shoot me.
Friday, June 23, 2006
... discussion
had a somewhat lively Bible study on John 3:36 this evening, with a consideration (among other things) of the question, "what does it mean to have 'eternal life'?"
there are a number of pat answers one can give without really getting to the nuts and bolts of our own personal understanding of what eternal life means. "a full relationship with God"... "no more tears, no more pain"... "being the person God meant for me to be"... "to live forever and never die"... are all examples of the kinds of answers i've heard over the years, with first leaning towadrs a more thoughtful understanding of eternal life, and the last leaning towards a more basic (and slightly flawed, perhaps, unless Jesus comes back in our lifetimes) understanding of it.
my own understanding of "eternal" is less a quantitive one and more a qualitative one, i hope. certainly, the eternal encompasses an infinity of temporal space, in which one could imagine replaying the whole of human history and seeing every event in minute detail, treating time as a river one could get out and wander up- and downstream of. i think, though, that my own ability to grasp the concept of the true nature of the eternal is inherently flawed and incapable of the most basic grasp of it. i remember a quote from somewhere, "if the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we'd be so simple we couldn't." i think it's a good quote because it underlines our limited view of the world around us. all that i could possibly ask or imagine in this life will barely fit into a fob pocket in my jeans in heaven (assuming we still wear jeans in heaven!) and the concept that everything could all be rolled up in such a way for us is laughable.
God is an energetic, creative God - if he had been content in himself to be simply eternal and self-relating, he need never have created us at all. it is because he loves us and desires that we be in relationship with him that he deigned to breathe life into the dust of the ground and call it "made in our image". God is love - and with that powerful, revealing-himself-as-father love comes an anger when his children do the wrong thing that is equally awesome, or awful. my parents were angry when i did the wrong thing because they love me and wanted me to do the right thing, and how much more than my parents does God love me!
my understanding of eternal life is that it is a restored relationship with God - to pray and be heard, to see his hand in the world around us, to find his character in my brothers and sisters, to see his image in the faces of strangers, to have his Spirit in my heart - it is not a restoring of our pre-fall status per se, i think, but a moving-on from that. adam had God's breath in his nostrils, but i have the Holy Spirit inside me; similar but different. God met with adam in the cool of the day, walked in the garden with him, but God is always and ever with me now and i am always and ever now with him: God has a place for me in his house, he has called me a son, and what he speaks is.
i do not enjoy the fullness of this restored relationship yet, because i still am in the world. sin continues to exact its toll in my life, reduced though it is according to God's grace, but what i suggested in Bible study tonight was this:
eternal life is a little like having a backstage pass at a concert. it's great to be at a concert or performance. everyone's there to have a great time, enjoy the show. some people have queued up for ages, some people had their tix as gifts, or won them in some competition. some are in the mosh pit, some are in the nosebleeds. everyone is there, enjoying themselves, the show, the company, and most are not thinking about what will happen after the show. they revel in the moment because, were they even able to admit it, the moment is all they have.
for those who have backstage passes, however, the concert is an amazing precursor to the freedom and privilege of going backstage. meeting the band! seeing the techies! maybe even jamming with the band! getting autographs! for these people, the concert is not the main event. for these people, the concert's end is not a reason to feel down, to go out and take your time getting to the car, knowing that a eighty thousand others are all going to be clamouring to get out before you. for these people, the end of the concert is the moment when they can go backstage! where others' experience ends after the last encore fades, their experience is only beginning.
in the gospel, i think God is offering us backstage passes (in a way). we don't have just the moment to live in, we have all those moments after these. and we should treasure the gospel. you don't go to the concert and leave them at home! you can't get in unless you've got them front and centre, where the door guys can see your credentials. and what's even better is that we get to give these backstage passes away ourselves! to anybody!
warren commented tonight he'd heard someone say that Christians are beggars who have been given bread - and tell other beggars where to get more. i know that i rarely share the gospel with people and i know that it is even more rare for me to sit down and truly dwell on the awesome nature of our God and King, and the power of the gospel to save. i don't live the way i should, not fully enough, not loudly enough, i think. my pass is in my pocket, in my bag, not around my neck. and the more i think about it, the more i think i'm losing out by being so reticent about it all. i'm terrified that my failures will make the gospel look bad, when in fact they can only make it look even more amazing - if it works for me (and look how much more screwed up i seem compared to how you think you are) it must work for you too!
can't half tell it's after midnight, eh?
there are a number of pat answers one can give without really getting to the nuts and bolts of our own personal understanding of what eternal life means. "a full relationship with God"... "no more tears, no more pain"... "being the person God meant for me to be"... "to live forever and never die"... are all examples of the kinds of answers i've heard over the years, with first leaning towadrs a more thoughtful understanding of eternal life, and the last leaning towards a more basic (and slightly flawed, perhaps, unless Jesus comes back in our lifetimes) understanding of it.
my own understanding of "eternal" is less a quantitive one and more a qualitative one, i hope. certainly, the eternal encompasses an infinity of temporal space, in which one could imagine replaying the whole of human history and seeing every event in minute detail, treating time as a river one could get out and wander up- and downstream of. i think, though, that my own ability to grasp the concept of the true nature of the eternal is inherently flawed and incapable of the most basic grasp of it. i remember a quote from somewhere, "if the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we'd be so simple we couldn't." i think it's a good quote because it underlines our limited view of the world around us. all that i could possibly ask or imagine in this life will barely fit into a fob pocket in my jeans in heaven (assuming we still wear jeans in heaven!) and the concept that everything could all be rolled up in such a way for us is laughable.
God is an energetic, creative God - if he had been content in himself to be simply eternal and self-relating, he need never have created us at all. it is because he loves us and desires that we be in relationship with him that he deigned to breathe life into the dust of the ground and call it "made in our image". God is love - and with that powerful, revealing-himself-as-father love comes an anger when his children do the wrong thing that is equally awesome, or awful. my parents were angry when i did the wrong thing because they love me and wanted me to do the right thing, and how much more than my parents does God love me!
my understanding of eternal life is that it is a restored relationship with God - to pray and be heard, to see his hand in the world around us, to find his character in my brothers and sisters, to see his image in the faces of strangers, to have his Spirit in my heart - it is not a restoring of our pre-fall status per se, i think, but a moving-on from that. adam had God's breath in his nostrils, but i have the Holy Spirit inside me; similar but different. God met with adam in the cool of the day, walked in the garden with him, but God is always and ever with me now and i am always and ever now with him: God has a place for me in his house, he has called me a son, and what he speaks is.
i do not enjoy the fullness of this restored relationship yet, because i still am in the world. sin continues to exact its toll in my life, reduced though it is according to God's grace, but what i suggested in Bible study tonight was this:
eternal life is a little like having a backstage pass at a concert. it's great to be at a concert or performance. everyone's there to have a great time, enjoy the show. some people have queued up for ages, some people had their tix as gifts, or won them in some competition. some are in the mosh pit, some are in the nosebleeds. everyone is there, enjoying themselves, the show, the company, and most are not thinking about what will happen after the show. they revel in the moment because, were they even able to admit it, the moment is all they have.
for those who have backstage passes, however, the concert is an amazing precursor to the freedom and privilege of going backstage. meeting the band! seeing the techies! maybe even jamming with the band! getting autographs! for these people, the concert is not the main event. for these people, the concert's end is not a reason to feel down, to go out and take your time getting to the car, knowing that a eighty thousand others are all going to be clamouring to get out before you. for these people, the end of the concert is the moment when they can go backstage! where others' experience ends after the last encore fades, their experience is only beginning.
in the gospel, i think God is offering us backstage passes (in a way). we don't have just the moment to live in, we have all those moments after these. and we should treasure the gospel. you don't go to the concert and leave them at home! you can't get in unless you've got them front and centre, where the door guys can see your credentials. and what's even better is that we get to give these backstage passes away ourselves! to anybody!
warren commented tonight he'd heard someone say that Christians are beggars who have been given bread - and tell other beggars where to get more. i know that i rarely share the gospel with people and i know that it is even more rare for me to sit down and truly dwell on the awesome nature of our God and King, and the power of the gospel to save. i don't live the way i should, not fully enough, not loudly enough, i think. my pass is in my pocket, in my bag, not around my neck. and the more i think about it, the more i think i'm losing out by being so reticent about it all. i'm terrified that my failures will make the gospel look bad, when in fact they can only make it look even more amazing - if it works for me (and look how much more screwed up i seem compared to how you think you are) it must work for you too!
can't half tell it's after midnight, eh?
Thursday, June 22, 2006
... one for each day of the week...
some books that i've been reading lately:
- the fruits of war - michael white
- aphrodite - isobel allende
- loves me, loves me not - laura a. smit
- charlie and the chocolate factory - roald dahl
- romanitas - sophia mcdougall
- poems and prose - gerard manley hopkins
- the cracking codebook - simon singh
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
... 101 reasons
well, i killed off my other blog. i think if i couldn't keep updating one blog, there's not really any way i can in all good conscience (even with something as trite as my "101 uses for...") try to run two at the same time.
from time to time i might use it as a header here, but i'm still toying with my "stupid seven" concept.
from time to time i might use it as a header here, but i'm still toying with my "stupid seven" concept.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
... stupid seven
seven things that should happen to stupid people who...
...pee on seats in male public toilets
does this seem harsh?
...pee on seats in male public toilets
- be made to wear a dress for a month
- given electro-shock treatment
- be made to clean toilets with cotton buds
- be disallowed use of toilet paper and issued with pumpkin vine leaves
- be disallowed use of a toilet seat... for all time
- be made to use a colostomy bag
- physical castration and removal of penis
does this seem harsh?
Friday, May 19, 2006
... relativity
i have a soft spot in my heart for shlocky films. one of my favourite movies is deep blue sea and the reason it's one of my favourites is one single scene. samuel l. jackson's character is holding forth on how bad people can get when the chips are down, and how backbiting, infighting and the blame game hinders you from actually doing somethign to resolve the dilemma you face. (vague, i know, but if you haven't seen it you may want to.) then he takes control of the decision making and promptly gets eaten by a shark that jumps out of the wet-entry dive pool at the bottom fo the underwater research station the film is set in. (one can only be so vague when making a point...)
i love that scene. there is another scene i like for its definition of relativity. l.l. cool j. has a line where he says something like, "put your hand on a hot pan and a second can seem like an hour... put your hands on a hot woman and an hour can seem like a second".
last night we were looking at acts 2:42-47, considering how the early church, immediately after pentecost and full of the joy of the Spirit and the gospel and their newly-found salvation, had everything in common, sold what they had and gave to others as they had need.
now i'm sure people haven't felt that life has got any less busy. many of our grandparents might say we've got it easy, while a few more cynical ones might say they wouldn't trade places with us for all the tea in china! what i do think has changed is the kind of society we're living in. first-century jerusalem had very different welfare systems in place than we have today. they were called "children", for the most part, and people often had a lot of them to build up their support network for their autumn years, when they could no longer work with their hands to provide for themselves but weren't yet ready to give up the ghost. nowadays we have "superannuation" and "retirement" and "pension". these support the individual who has been paying into them for however many working years, or as a recognition of the contribution they've made to society (although pensions seem to be becoming fewer and less supportive as time goes by).
i really feel that this drive towards providing for ourselves has left us bereft of a lot of the beneficial side-effects (the undocumented features, if you will) of a family-based or village-based, namely that in a society where everyone looks after everyone else everyone is (ideally) cared for somehow. children are watched because everyone has children and they're the future of the family/village and so it's in the family/village's best interests to look after them, and if you're around when they need looking after, that's what you do. when i was growing up, we hung out next door until my parents came home from work or tafe or wherever they were, and our neighbours' kids hung out at our place for the same reason.
i don't know how much of this looking out for one another happens around childcare centres or schools anymore. mums used to congregate at the gates, walking bunches of kids home and dropping them off one after another at the houses until they arrived at their own houses. does that still happen? how many kids go straight to after-school care? or tutoring (which a cynical person could call clayton's after-school care)?
if you know me, you know where i think this leads. two parents both working to pay off a mortgage to live in a house with kids they're disconnected from and spend more time watching tv with than talking to.
i love that scene. there is another scene i like for its definition of relativity. l.l. cool j. has a line where he says something like, "put your hand on a hot pan and a second can seem like an hour... put your hands on a hot woman and an hour can seem like a second".
last night we were looking at acts 2:42-47, considering how the early church, immediately after pentecost and full of the joy of the Spirit and the gospel and their newly-found salvation, had everything in common, sold what they had and gave to others as they had need.
now i'm sure people haven't felt that life has got any less busy. many of our grandparents might say we've got it easy, while a few more cynical ones might say they wouldn't trade places with us for all the tea in china! what i do think has changed is the kind of society we're living in. first-century jerusalem had very different welfare systems in place than we have today. they were called "children", for the most part, and people often had a lot of them to build up their support network for their autumn years, when they could no longer work with their hands to provide for themselves but weren't yet ready to give up the ghost. nowadays we have "superannuation" and "retirement" and "pension". these support the individual who has been paying into them for however many working years, or as a recognition of the contribution they've made to society (although pensions seem to be becoming fewer and less supportive as time goes by).
i really feel that this drive towards providing for ourselves has left us bereft of a lot of the beneficial side-effects (the undocumented features, if you will) of a family-based or village-based, namely that in a society where everyone looks after everyone else everyone is (ideally) cared for somehow. children are watched because everyone has children and they're the future of the family/village and so it's in the family/village's best interests to look after them, and if you're around when they need looking after, that's what you do. when i was growing up, we hung out next door until my parents came home from work or tafe or wherever they were, and our neighbours' kids hung out at our place for the same reason.
i don't know how much of this looking out for one another happens around childcare centres or schools anymore. mums used to congregate at the gates, walking bunches of kids home and dropping them off one after another at the houses until they arrived at their own houses. does that still happen? how many kids go straight to after-school care? or tutoring (which a cynical person could call clayton's after-school care)?
if you know me, you know where i think this leads. two parents both working to pay off a mortgage to live in a house with kids they're disconnected from and spend more time watching tv with than talking to.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
... "like a child with new clothes..."
doing a bit of surfing while ate lunch, i wandered into the matthew reilly website, and remembering the old web address for hover car racer, i thought i'd check it out. WOW! hover car racer ii is coming soon! i hope it's sooner rather than later.
i've been noticing the marching passage of time seems a little faster now than it used to be (stemming from a conversation in the shop i had with a customer this morning), and i realised that my move to melbourne is much sooner on the horizon that it was when i first thought about it. i head down for a holiday later this year (fingers crossed, my tax refund will be as helpful as it was last year!) and to scope out a few places i've been chatting about with people, maybe for work, maybe to live. one place i was interested in for work is in frankston, but one of the most promising places to live is heidelberg! they're about 90-120 minutes apart, and while i don't mind travelling, that might be a bit much. it's further than i travel now...
so i don't know. i'm looking forward to wandering about the place and pretending to be a working joe for a while. there was a great card and paper shop i happened on when i was there a couple of weekends ago, and i might stick my head in there and see if there might be any work opportunities. it's in the city, i'm familiar with some of their stock already, and i worked in a newsagency for a while... i've dealt with greeting cards before.
a few thoughts...
i've been noticing the marching passage of time seems a little faster now than it used to be (stemming from a conversation in the shop i had with a customer this morning), and i realised that my move to melbourne is much sooner on the horizon that it was when i first thought about it. i head down for a holiday later this year (fingers crossed, my tax refund will be as helpful as it was last year!) and to scope out a few places i've been chatting about with people, maybe for work, maybe to live. one place i was interested in for work is in frankston, but one of the most promising places to live is heidelberg! they're about 90-120 minutes apart, and while i don't mind travelling, that might be a bit much. it's further than i travel now...
so i don't know. i'm looking forward to wandering about the place and pretending to be a working joe for a while. there was a great card and paper shop i happened on when i was there a couple of weekends ago, and i might stick my head in there and see if there might be any work opportunities. it's in the city, i'm familiar with some of their stock already, and i worked in a newsagency for a while... i've dealt with greeting cards before.
a few thoughts...
... keeping up appearances
i actually have a fair amount to blog, but no time to actually write it up and upload it. there is stuff coming, but it may take a little longer.
in lighter news, one of the ladies at my fave morning cafe in the city took my money for my breakfast and the one dollar coin slid out of her hand, bounced perfectly off the stainless steel countertop and into a jug! couldn't have done it if we'd rehearsed it, i don't think...
in lighter news, one of the ladies at my fave morning cafe in the city took my money for my breakfast and the one dollar coin slid out of her hand, bounced perfectly off the stainless steel countertop and into a jug! couldn't have done it if we'd rehearsed it, i don't think...
Friday, April 28, 2006
... busy
my weekends fill up so quickly sometimes, i half-wonder when my time suddenly became so much in demand. i'm off to wollongong this weekend for an annual pool tournament that i haven't actually been able to make for a while. i'm looking forward to it.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
... introspection
have you ever felt like everything you do is letting someone down, somewhere?
anyone who knows me will tell you about me that i have a great memory for some things and a crap memory for others. i'm good with movie stars in movies (six degrees of kevin bacon is a fave of mine) and hopeless with dates. on your birthday, i will wake up with a vague sense of unease, thinking there's something i should be doing today, a phone call i should be making, someone i need to be talking to.
i felt like that a couple of weeks ago, contacted someone to work out what i was forgetting, and upset someone in the doing of that. all because my memory is crap and i am a tool who doesn't organise life more effectively around myself. i know my memory is crap. i did have an external memory i was using, but it turned out to be crap as well and got fried. all data lost. and i am a tool once again.
something else that happened to me recently is that i was asked how i became a Christian. it's a long story, and the more often i tell it, the less i think of myself. i don't know why that is. i am certainly amazed every day that God has brought me into a relationship with him and, while i continue every day to make stupid mistakes & errors of judgement and in more ways than i care to think of let him down, he continues to save me from myself and shows me that i am not my own - i am his, and nothing i or anyone else can do will ever change that.
i'm not particularly keen on having my book read out at the last day - is anyone? - but one page will read something like, "september 1990, repented and prayed for forgiveness, entered the Kingdom of God, got out of the bath and dried off and got dressed. eventually stopped crying." that is the day God saved me from myself. every day since he has been keeping me from trying to take control back and metaphorically smearing the walls of his new temple with my own crap.
i commented at the end of my testimony that it never really leaves you, the option of suicide. it's like learning all of a sudden about control-alt-delete. "oh my goodness, my computer isn't doing what i want it to do, maybe i should just hit ctrl-alt-del and start over...?" except it isn't. the problem is that without having someone operate on my brain, i don't see how i can unlearn it. i've asked God to help me unlearn a lot of stuff, but never that. i suppose, in a way, it's my escape clause in our little covenant - that if the going gets too hot, i might pull the plug. every time i've sat down to seriously consider it since that day in 1990, i've stayed my hand because of God's love for me. perhaps, then, the button still looks like it's there, but God's pulled out the wiring underneath.
he has surrounded me with friends and family - blood and spiritual - who continue to be an encouragement and reminder to me that God's love, and the poor copy we share, is so much more than the things we struggle against in our lives. i let people down, and surely the only thing that enables them to forgive me (if/when they do) is the love that God has put in their hearts.
thank you, God, for that.
anyone who knows me will tell you about me that i have a great memory for some things and a crap memory for others. i'm good with movie stars in movies (six degrees of kevin bacon is a fave of mine) and hopeless with dates. on your birthday, i will wake up with a vague sense of unease, thinking there's something i should be doing today, a phone call i should be making, someone i need to be talking to.
i felt like that a couple of weeks ago, contacted someone to work out what i was forgetting, and upset someone in the doing of that. all because my memory is crap and i am a tool who doesn't organise life more effectively around myself. i know my memory is crap. i did have an external memory i was using, but it turned out to be crap as well and got fried. all data lost. and i am a tool once again.
something else that happened to me recently is that i was asked how i became a Christian. it's a long story, and the more often i tell it, the less i think of myself. i don't know why that is. i am certainly amazed every day that God has brought me into a relationship with him and, while i continue every day to make stupid mistakes & errors of judgement and in more ways than i care to think of let him down, he continues to save me from myself and shows me that i am not my own - i am his, and nothing i or anyone else can do will ever change that.
i'm not particularly keen on having my book read out at the last day - is anyone? - but one page will read something like, "september 1990, repented and prayed for forgiveness, entered the Kingdom of God, got out of the bath and dried off and got dressed. eventually stopped crying." that is the day God saved me from myself. every day since he has been keeping me from trying to take control back and metaphorically smearing the walls of his new temple with my own crap.
i commented at the end of my testimony that it never really leaves you, the option of suicide. it's like learning all of a sudden about control-alt-delete. "oh my goodness, my computer isn't doing what i want it to do, maybe i should just hit ctrl-alt-del and start over...?" except it isn't. the problem is that without having someone operate on my brain, i don't see how i can unlearn it. i've asked God to help me unlearn a lot of stuff, but never that. i suppose, in a way, it's my escape clause in our little covenant - that if the going gets too hot, i might pull the plug. every time i've sat down to seriously consider it since that day in 1990, i've stayed my hand because of God's love for me. perhaps, then, the button still looks like it's there, but God's pulled out the wiring underneath.
he has surrounded me with friends and family - blood and spiritual - who continue to be an encouragement and reminder to me that God's love, and the poor copy we share, is so much more than the things we struggle against in our lives. i let people down, and surely the only thing that enables them to forgive me (if/when they do) is the love that God has put in their hearts.
thank you, God, for that.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
... anti-update
this is less of an update and more of an explanation of what's been happening.
we had a virus scare at work, which is why i haven't been updating as regularly as i had been before i stopped updating so regularly... does that make sense? (i was updating my blog at work during my lunch break.)
i haven't been updating at home because by the time i was getting home i really couldn't put two sentences together that were terribly coherent. our broadband access here at home that i have after long not having regular internet access at home (by choice) have now recently enjoyed is soon to be temporarily cut off as part of a name-change on the broadband bill.
so who knows when my next update will be? if you have my mobile number, telephone me and say hi! 7-8.45am, or 7-11pm AEST is an excellent time to get me on my mobile.
peace ya dead budgies! eh-eh :)
we had a virus scare at work, which is why i haven't been updating as regularly as i had been before i stopped updating so regularly... does that make sense? (i was updating my blog at work during my lunch break.)
i haven't been updating at home because by the time i was getting home i really couldn't put two sentences together that were terribly coherent. our broadband access here at home that i have after long not having regular internet access at home (by choice) have now recently enjoyed is soon to be temporarily cut off as part of a name-change on the broadband bill.
so who knows when my next update will be? if you have my mobile number, telephone me and say hi! 7-8.45am, or 7-11pm AEST is an excellent time to get me on my mobile.
peace ya dead budgies! eh-eh :)
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
... happy birthday to you!
i know it's been a while since i posted, but i've been a bit away from the 'net lately, plus i've not been checking things out at work at lunch... a virus scare at work. in any case, today's a very important day.
my baby sister turned 30 years old today.
happy birthday Allison! i love you very much and i'm very proud of you.
my baby sister turned 30 years old today.
happy birthday Allison! i love you very much and i'm very proud of you.
Friday, March 31, 2006
... all my friends are (still)...
tonight marks another sombre occasion in my life - one of the people i led for a time in youth group is getting married. i'm overwhelmed with joy for the couple in question, and i have nothing but hope and prayer for a joyful and fruitful life together, filled with peace, and forgiveness, and reconciliation. as an early thirtysomething who's been feeling ready to settle down for about 25 years, it's hard not to feel a bit left on the shelf - but that's self pity and i haven't got time to really dwell on it these days. i note its passage, and hopefully that's all.
so it's an evening wedding on a weeknight, even though it's not a school night, and i think that's kind of funky. you can make a good start tomorrow after a nice lie-in, people leaving the reception/supper after the service can roll on to wherever they like, and it's a bit of a standout in that when was the last wedding you went to... on a weekday... at night? very nifty.
you should have seen the invitations! how awesome were they? i've been telling customers about them, although i'm going to have to bring it in to work just so's they can get a clue of what i'm talking about.
i'm sure tonight will go well, and i hope and pray that tonight is as bad as their life together gets - that it's only onwards and upwards from here. God bless you two crazy kids!
so it's an evening wedding on a weeknight, even though it's not a school night, and i think that's kind of funky. you can make a good start tomorrow after a nice lie-in, people leaving the reception/supper after the service can roll on to wherever they like, and it's a bit of a standout in that when was the last wedding you went to... on a weekday... at night? very nifty.
you should have seen the invitations! how awesome were they? i've been telling customers about them, although i'm going to have to bring it in to work just so's they can get a clue of what i'm talking about.
i'm sure tonight will go well, and i hope and pray that tonight is as bad as their life together gets - that it's only onwards and upwards from here. God bless you two crazy kids!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
... not one ... but two
today, two things i feel are marvellous.
i went to the movies with my housemates last night, almost a marvel in itself in that it doesn't happen very often (i think we've all been out together maybe two other times), and we saw proof with gwyneth paltrow, jake gyllenhaal(?) and anthony hopkins.
hope davis put in a very believable performance as an annoying, own-guilt-appeasing older sister, and anothony hopkins was okay, but not his best work, alas. jake and gwyneth were the two standouts, gwyneth reminding me a lot of sliding doors and se7en, two movies i very much liked her performances in. i haven't yet seen the royal tannenbaums, but i'm guessing it's probably as good or better than this. jake reliable as always; i like him the way i like brenadan fraser, but i think jake is edgier than brendan, who needs a few more "quiet american"s before his going to prove himself as an edgy actor for me.
the second marvellous thing was the discovery of a pasta place called "pasta resistance" in clarence st in the city. my train from work into the city ran late and i missed the bus that would get me home in time to shower and change to come back into town. frustrated, i decided to salve my frustration with food (i know, i know...) and en route to oporto i passed this restaurant.
at ten minutes to 8, while they were cleaning up, they were kind enough to serve me dinner, let me sit while i ate it and they kept up cleaning, and told me a little about the place. it's great, not too expensive and i was quite happy paying what i paid for what i got. a little more garlic on the garlic bread and my dining experience would have been complete! they're open 7-8 m-w, 7-9 th-sa (i think). i'm looking forward to going back, maybe working my way through the menu!
i went to the movies with my housemates last night, almost a marvel in itself in that it doesn't happen very often (i think we've all been out together maybe two other times), and we saw proof with gwyneth paltrow, jake gyllenhaal(?) and anthony hopkins.
hope davis put in a very believable performance as an annoying, own-guilt-appeasing older sister, and anothony hopkins was okay, but not his best work, alas. jake and gwyneth were the two standouts, gwyneth reminding me a lot of sliding doors and se7en, two movies i very much liked her performances in. i haven't yet seen the royal tannenbaums, but i'm guessing it's probably as good or better than this. jake reliable as always; i like him the way i like brenadan fraser, but i think jake is edgier than brendan, who needs a few more "quiet american"s before his going to prove himself as an edgy actor for me.
the second marvellous thing was the discovery of a pasta place called "pasta resistance" in clarence st in the city. my train from work into the city ran late and i missed the bus that would get me home in time to shower and change to come back into town. frustrated, i decided to salve my frustration with food (i know, i know...) and en route to oporto i passed this restaurant.
at ten minutes to 8, while they were cleaning up, they were kind enough to serve me dinner, let me sit while i ate it and they kept up cleaning, and told me a little about the place. it's great, not too expensive and i was quite happy paying what i paid for what i got. a little more garlic on the garlic bread and my dining experience would have been complete! they're open 7-8 m-w, 7-9 th-sa (i think). i'm looking forward to going back, maybe working my way through the menu!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
... new blog
i don't know if anyone's noticed, but i've got a new blog... the link is off to the side here ------------->>>
it's borne of a txt message i sent to a friend, and i'm half-wondering how many things could be in it...
it's borne of a txt message i sent to a friend, and i'm half-wondering how many things could be in it...
... peeve
what is it with people who catch the bus? is it such a chore to sit next to the window? i understand that sometimes you need to get out in a only a couple of stops, but when you see that the bus has, oh, about three empty seats left and one is next to you (facing backwards, at the front of the bus) and the other two are in the back corners of the back seat of the bus, next to three ... large ... guys in business suits with briefcases, why don't you stand up??? either stand for a standing woman, or move over.
it doesn't help that the guy had one of those little tailored goatees that make me want to slap him and poke him in the butt with the trident he should be carrying... but really.
it doesn't help that the guy had one of those little tailored goatees that make me want to slap him and poke him in the butt with the trident he should be carrying... but really.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
... ruminating, regurgitating
i was reading in my journal this morning and saw an entry for almost a year ago, at a time when i was feeling rather sorry for myself.
Thank you God that you love me so much; that if I ever doubt it, I can read your Word, and pray, and spend time with my brothers and sisters; that my doubts do not change how much you love me.
Thank you God that you have surrounded me with people who care; near and far, despite my best efforts and worst behaviour, they continue loving and prayerful, more or less; that by their example and in their love you show me glimpses of heaven.
Forgive me Lord for all my sins; for where I do wrong, for where I do not do right, and for my nature to continue to do so; for continuing to live of the world and not merely in the world.
Lord, do not give me over to my sin as I deserve, but restore me according to your promise; increase my faith, and help my unbelief; lift my eyes to heaven, and save me from myself.
Amen.
Thank you God that you love me so much; that if I ever doubt it, I can read your Word, and pray, and spend time with my brothers and sisters; that my doubts do not change how much you love me.
Thank you God that you have surrounded me with people who care; near and far, despite my best efforts and worst behaviour, they continue loving and prayerful, more or less; that by their example and in their love you show me glimpses of heaven.
Forgive me Lord for all my sins; for where I do wrong, for where I do not do right, and for my nature to continue to do so; for continuing to live of the world and not merely in the world.
Lord, do not give me over to my sin as I deserve, but restore me according to your promise; increase my faith, and help my unbelief; lift my eyes to heaven, and save me from myself.
Amen.
Monday, March 27, 2006
... mighty mighty show
on friday evening, after what felt at that stage like a long day but was actually a pretty easy day, i stopped into my favourite gloria jean's coffee shop at crows nest. since i moved to the north shore, i've found the team at crows nest to be friendly, efficient, and have a warm sense of humour that shows through, even when they're looking as focussed as only a barista in a rush can. i love stopping in there - many of the staff recognise me, laugh when i (occasionally) order a different drink, and know not to offer me cream on my coffee.
last friday, aleyce simmonds was performing a small gig there. i say a small gig, but she sang about 20 songs in the two hours of the performance to a warm reception from people who had the good courtesy (most of the time) to talk under the music and not over the top of it. aleyce performed three songs from her debut single, mighty mighty love, omitting the cover of even when i'm sleeping - a shame, really, because it's such a good effort and i like it above the original because it has more body to the music. but that's me.
a few other songs aleyce wrote herself, a few others not. her performance of the letter was great, a song i'd almost forgotten until i heard her sing it.
altogether, a marvellous night. i really enjoyed myself.
last friday, aleyce simmonds was performing a small gig there. i say a small gig, but she sang about 20 songs in the two hours of the performance to a warm reception from people who had the good courtesy (most of the time) to talk under the music and not over the top of it. aleyce performed three songs from her debut single, mighty mighty love, omitting the cover of even when i'm sleeping - a shame, really, because it's such a good effort and i like it above the original because it has more body to the music. but that's me.
a few other songs aleyce wrote herself, a few others not. her performance of the letter was great, a song i'd almost forgotten until i heard her sing it.
altogether, a marvellous night. i really enjoyed myself.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
... a few things i marvelled at
* a woman on the bus whose foot in her oddly-coloured shoe had skin so delicate i could see the veins beneath the skin
* tiny buttons an another woman's shirt that reminded me of the scene in french kiss when kevin kline's character is paying out on meg ryans character on the plane just before take-off...
* an indian guy who looked like he should've been weightlifting in melbourne - short, nuggety, broad, very powerful-looking
* a book someone was reading, by helen garner, about some drug dealer (?) murdered in canberra? (should i get the book? "joe cinque's condolance" i think)
* how fast some bus drivers drive their buses in traffic you couldn't pay me enough to even attempt to drive in
... and WHAT the heck is up with driving past the depot? is there a point?
* tiny buttons an another woman's shirt that reminded me of the scene in french kiss when kevin kline's character is paying out on meg ryans character on the plane just before take-off...
* an indian guy who looked like he should've been weightlifting in melbourne - short, nuggety, broad, very powerful-looking
* a book someone was reading, by helen garner, about some drug dealer (?) murdered in canberra? (should i get the book? "joe cinque's condolance" i think)
* how fast some bus drivers drive their buses in traffic you couldn't pay me enough to even attempt to drive in
... and WHAT the heck is up with driving past the depot? is there a point?
Thursday, March 23, 2006
... i need a rest
not feeling physically tired as much as i was, but feeling... i don't know... brain-tired? not quite brain-dead, but i'm certainly a good way along the road to turning grey and craving live flesh.
i wonder why that is. it continues humid in sydney. i blame the humidity. it enervates me incredibly. while i was on holidays in the u.s. i felt i had more energy than i've had in ages... the only time i felt tired at all was while i was wandering around new york in the rain - humidity again. ithaca was great - cold and dry... i couldn't have asked for better weather.
so who's going to give me a job in antarctica?
i wonder why that is. it continues humid in sydney. i blame the humidity. it enervates me incredibly. while i was on holidays in the u.s. i felt i had more energy than i've had in ages... the only time i felt tired at all was while i was wandering around new york in the rain - humidity again. ithaca was great - cold and dry... i couldn't have asked for better weather.
so who's going to give me a job in antarctica?
... to the rescue!
not terribly marvellous, but a couple of friends of mine commented on the dearth of ironing boards in their house the other day, to which i rejoined that i had an ironing board that they were welcome to, should they wish to relieve said dearth of ironing boards. they said, thanks, but we'll probably be ok...
well, they mentioned a little more recently than our initial conversation that they were curious if my ironing board had yet found a home; i replied, no, it was yet pining away in a corner, unused and unloved. i expect it has already seen more use now than it has in months... and i'm glad.
well, they mentioned a little more recently than our initial conversation that they were curious if my ironing board had yet found a home; i replied, no, it was yet pining away in a corner, unused and unloved. i expect it has already seen more use now than it has in months... and i'm glad.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
... not very marvellous actually
two things, one less marvellous than the other, i think, although i'll leave it to you, dear reader, to decide which is which.
when i posted yesterday, i forgot to adjust the timestamp for the post, and it thus appears that i posted on sunday. i did not. i posted at lunch on monday, 20th march.
second, i went to go see aeon flux last night. dave posted about it on cafedave this morning/last night, indicating his distaste for the film. i agree in general, but have more specific reasons for what i liked and didn't like about the movie.
charlize theron did a pretty good job as aeon; it's a pretty physical role, and i noted she had a physiotherapist for the movie in the credits. alas, she didn't have the same hairdo (and that hairdo is a totally signature thing for aeon, especially given the cartoon episode where trevor goodchild clones her). kudos for an excellent sithandra, although i agreed with dave that the effect of having her feet replaced with hands may have used up their SPFX budget earlier than anticipated. marton csokas isn't really well-known enough to bring a presence to a role, and trevor goodchild wasn't written well enough, i thought, to bring the best of his character out.
we see WAY to much of trevor goodchild's intentions in this film, and the same with aeon. part of the attraction for me with the cartoon was that you never really know what aeon in particular wants. trevor wants control - we're just never really sure why. aeon takes NO side (listen to the cartoon opening credits!) and here she does. a bit sad, really.
peter chung admits that extending the 5-minute cartoons to a half-hour show was always difficult. i think the translation to the big screen has failed because they've tried to explain too much, rather than let the audience interact on their own terms. a shame really. more interaction on the audience's part would give a good reason for repeat viewings...
when i posted yesterday, i forgot to adjust the timestamp for the post, and it thus appears that i posted on sunday. i did not. i posted at lunch on monday, 20th march.
second, i went to go see aeon flux last night. dave posted about it on cafedave this morning/last night, indicating his distaste for the film. i agree in general, but have more specific reasons for what i liked and didn't like about the movie.
charlize theron did a pretty good job as aeon; it's a pretty physical role, and i noted she had a physiotherapist for the movie in the credits. alas, she didn't have the same hairdo (and that hairdo is a totally signature thing for aeon, especially given the cartoon episode where trevor goodchild clones her). kudos for an excellent sithandra, although i agreed with dave that the effect of having her feet replaced with hands may have used up their SPFX budget earlier than anticipated. marton csokas isn't really well-known enough to bring a presence to a role, and trevor goodchild wasn't written well enough, i thought, to bring the best of his character out.
we see WAY to much of trevor goodchild's intentions in this film, and the same with aeon. part of the attraction for me with the cartoon was that you never really know what aeon in particular wants. trevor wants control - we're just never really sure why. aeon takes NO side (listen to the cartoon opening credits!) and here she does. a bit sad, really.
peter chung admits that extending the 5-minute cartoons to a half-hour show was always difficult. i think the translation to the big screen has failed because they've tried to explain too much, rather than let the audience interact on their own terms. a shame really. more interaction on the audience's part would give a good reason for repeat viewings...
Monday, March 20, 2006
... car pool
wow! how amazed was i to see this morning, not:
* a woman painting her toenails while driving across the harbour bridge
* a man reading the sydney morning herald while driving across the harbour bridge
* a motorcyclist drinking a coffee while riding across the harbour bridge (granted i've not ACTUALLY seen this, but some must have done it by now, SURELY!)
... but four women, in ONE car (a toyota tarago, no less), carpooling to work! wow. i didn't know people still did that. they seemed to be happily chatting away, the driver staring steely-eyed into the traffic in front, but still adding to the conversation.
marvellous!
* a woman painting her toenails while driving across the harbour bridge
* a man reading the sydney morning herald while driving across the harbour bridge
* a motorcyclist drinking a coffee while riding across the harbour bridge (granted i've not ACTUALLY seen this, but some must have done it by now, SURELY!)
... but four women, in ONE car (a toyota tarago, no less), carpooling to work! wow. i didn't know people still did that. they seemed to be happily chatting away, the driver staring steely-eyed into the traffic in front, but still adding to the conversation.
marvellous!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
... look up
marvel this morning... i stepped out of my house and looked up into the western sky over chatswood cbd and i saw the moon, hanging low and fat and full in the sky.
gorgeous.
(well they don't have to be profound...)
gorgeous.
(well they don't have to be profound...)
Friday, March 17, 2006
... transportation device vacillation
well, i lasted a whole (how long?) on the wagon before i fell off, and this is how it happened.
i had planned on posting yesterday at lunch. my plan has been to post each day at lunch. but yesterday, by the time i got to work, i had a pounding headache that a couple of hits with paracetemol did little to kill. throughout the day i kept saying to myself, "once i finish processing in these deliveries i'll go home". well, i did - at about 10 minutes to 6. and i missed lunch because of the deeply-held (more likely stubbornly-clung-to) belief that i'd be finished fairly early and could skip the lunch i felt uncertain about keeping down.
so i suppose the marvel today is that despite spending my working life of about 16 years consciously trying not to be the workaholic that destroyed my dad's health, i seem to be becoming that person. at least, working to the detriment of my physical, mental and emotional well-being.
maybe more tomorrow. if i can wangle an entry tonight, i might make up for lost time!
i had planned on posting yesterday at lunch. my plan has been to post each day at lunch. but yesterday, by the time i got to work, i had a pounding headache that a couple of hits with paracetemol did little to kill. throughout the day i kept saying to myself, "once i finish processing in these deliveries i'll go home". well, i did - at about 10 minutes to 6. and i missed lunch because of the deeply-held (more likely stubbornly-clung-to) belief that i'd be finished fairly early and could skip the lunch i felt uncertain about keeping down.
so i suppose the marvel today is that despite spending my working life of about 16 years consciously trying not to be the workaholic that destroyed my dad's health, i seem to be becoming that person. at least, working to the detriment of my physical, mental and emotional well-being.
maybe more tomorrow. if i can wangle an entry tonight, i might make up for lost time!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
... just lipton's, right?
the thing i was marvelling at this morning was the veritable gauntlet of giveaway people farming out kelloggs just right berry & apple and lipton's green tea samplers this morning at wynyard. ordinarily i jump at the chance for free stuff, especially food, but healthy breakfast cereal i comfortably ignore (i already don't eat just right, so i'd need more than a new flavour to really do anything for me, and i don't eat nutri-grain because i heard it's about as good for you as froot loops... so i eat froot loops on the rare occasions i might otherwise eat nutri-grain, if it's available...) and to be honest i've found the new tea flavours kind of ordinary.
are these people giving this stuff away paid to do it? how much money do kelloggs and lipton's shell out for this kind of publicity? and does it work? i can't think of anytime that i've rushed out and bought something because of a sample i've been given by a stranger... (maybe i just don't go clubbing enough!)
in other news; i've just started getting stumped by the sudoku puzzles in my extreme su doku puzzle book; the new barista at my morning cafe has the same name as me; one of the waitresses has moved on (again) and they've temporarily replaced her with one of the girls from the takeaway bar out the front.
flying pig count: 0
are these people giving this stuff away paid to do it? how much money do kelloggs and lipton's shell out for this kind of publicity? and does it work? i can't think of anytime that i've rushed out and bought something because of a sample i've been given by a stranger... (maybe i just don't go clubbing enough!)
in other news; i've just started getting stumped by the sudoku puzzles in my extreme su doku puzzle book; the new barista at my morning cafe has the same name as me; one of the waitresses has moved on (again) and they've temporarily replaced her with one of the girls from the takeaway bar out the front.
flying pig count: 0
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
... poorly named
i had a friend comment the other day to me that i don't update this blog very often. that's true. i think it's because, while the very fact of putting this blog out there means i must think some of my opinions and thoughts are worth sharing with the big ol' world, i don't feel many of them are worth sharing.
so, from tomorrow, i'm going to make a note of something that i think is marvellous. i'm going to be looking out for this thing, and each day around this time, i'm going to blog it. for a week. from tuesday 14 march to monday 20 march, australian eastern daylight savings time.
i don't know. is there anything people want me to be looking out for?
so, from tomorrow, i'm going to make a note of something that i think is marvellous. i'm going to be looking out for this thing, and each day around this time, i'm going to blog it. for a week. from tuesday 14 march to monday 20 march, australian eastern daylight savings time.
i don't know. is there anything people want me to be looking out for?
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
... hostel
oh my goodness. i sometimes wonder (usually about halfway through the movie, which is way too late, because by then i'm in the movie and i need to have it finished) whether being desensitised to screen horror is a good thing or not. it's good in a way - i'm not shocked or disturbed by the news anymore - and it also means i can decide if a story is worth seeing and hearing, on its own merits and depiction aside.
hostel is like that. i loved eli roth's film cabin fever (so much i bought it at video ezy on the way to the cinema) and i was interested to see what he did with this one. like the aristocrats, i had heard a lot of bad stuff about this movie. the depiction of violence i didn't find as stomach-turning as a lot of other people might, and i think this is because hostel is incredibly similar to a number of short stories by authors like clive barker and christopher fowler. clive barker's "in the hills, the cities" had an element of surreal horror to it that hostel borrows heavily, that of people familiar to the audience who are lost in a foreign country at the mercy of the citizenry of that place. there is also an inevitability about the story that reminds one of christopher fowler's short story about a man who, returning to his car in a parking garage, cannot escape the unseen horrors driving him towards his own death.
hostel has no surprises, except in the techniques of gore used in its torture set pieces, and the acting is adequate for the story. note roth in a cameo at the beginning of the movie (would've been nice to see him on the butcher's trolley near the end!) and the ugly american character that pax runs into in the change rooms is a similar character who pays to get on the doomed bus in the day after tomorrow, played by the same actor (whose name escapes me).
two and a half stars from me. not as good as cabin fever, and my greatest regret in seeing this film was missing the preview of the one new film that showed in the trailers. v for vendetta (even though it is based on comic book, i think) looks like it will be quite good, the little i saw of it. the question is, given the smorgasbord of human terrors available to us, why do we need remakes of the hills have eyes and when a stranger calls?
hostel is like that. i loved eli roth's film cabin fever (so much i bought it at video ezy on the way to the cinema) and i was interested to see what he did with this one. like the aristocrats, i had heard a lot of bad stuff about this movie. the depiction of violence i didn't find as stomach-turning as a lot of other people might, and i think this is because hostel is incredibly similar to a number of short stories by authors like clive barker and christopher fowler. clive barker's "in the hills, the cities" had an element of surreal horror to it that hostel borrows heavily, that of people familiar to the audience who are lost in a foreign country at the mercy of the citizenry of that place. there is also an inevitability about the story that reminds one of christopher fowler's short story about a man who, returning to his car in a parking garage, cannot escape the unseen horrors driving him towards his own death.
hostel has no surprises, except in the techniques of gore used in its torture set pieces, and the acting is adequate for the story. note roth in a cameo at the beginning of the movie (would've been nice to see him on the butcher's trolley near the end!) and the ugly american character that pax runs into in the change rooms is a similar character who pays to get on the doomed bus in the day after tomorrow, played by the same actor (whose name escapes me).
two and a half stars from me. not as good as cabin fever, and my greatest regret in seeing this film was missing the preview of the one new film that showed in the trailers. v for vendetta (even though it is based on comic book, i think) looks like it will be quite good, the little i saw of it. the question is, given the smorgasbord of human terrors available to us, why do we need remakes of the hills have eyes and when a stranger calls?
Monday, February 27, 2006
... risk sucks
although i went to mars hill cafe on friday night after work, i didn't read any poetry. on the last friday of the month, mars hill hosts what they call "one word", which is basically a poetry and spoken word open mic night. this month they tried something a little different with a couple of guest artists to open the night, "the rooks", a brother-sister rap duo from cabramatta, and "bravo charlie" (i think that was his name), a slam poet and freestyler who won the latest poetry slam competition run by the state library. they were both pretty good. some people got up afterwards to read their own stuff, along with a stand-up comedian (i think) who worked through some pretty good material. a big thanks to the psychology students who helped me with the magical moving bus stops on route 545.
the headline for this post, however, stems from my foolish agreement to play risk on saturday night. i had a great time and was in great company, and i'm looking forward to the next time we play boardgames, but my curse in risk has not changed. i drew a mission that i had almost no hope of achieving, and was hounded to extinction by my hostess, who had drawn "destroy all green forces" (my colour). to be fair, she was sitting two people away from me, and not actually NEXT to me (the usual position of my risk-nemesis). i hate this game. thankfully, the consensus seems to be monopoly for next time... i have a fighting chance there...
the headline for this post, however, stems from my foolish agreement to play risk on saturday night. i had a great time and was in great company, and i'm looking forward to the next time we play boardgames, but my curse in risk has not changed. i drew a mission that i had almost no hope of achieving, and was hounded to extinction by my hostess, who had drawn "destroy all green forces" (my colour). to be fair, she was sitting two people away from me, and not actually NEXT to me (the usual position of my risk-nemesis). i hate this game. thankfully, the consensus seems to be monopoly for next time... i have a fighting chance there...
Thursday, February 23, 2006
... happy birthday
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday... whoever you might be who has a birthday on february 23...
happy birthday to you!
:)
happy birthday to you
happy birthday... whoever you might be who has a birthday on february 23...
happy birthday to you!
:)
Monday, February 20, 2006
... weddings, parties, anything
i'm a hopeless romantic. i'll admit it. i am. (most would agree i'm hopeless, at any rate!) but the closer you get to the nitty gritty of a thing, the harder it is to feel romantic about it, i think.
i was proud and very privileged to have been a part of anthony and taminda's wedding on saturday just gone. right now (hopefully) they are honeymooning without care somewhere in the wide-open yonder, while the rest of us who were at the wedding have returned to our day-to-day existences. i was the third man in the groomsmen, and anthony and taminda asked me to be m.c. at their reception. i thought about it for a while before i said yes. i think i'd do that again if i were asked again.
i was surprised a bit at how much pressure i felt as i performed my duties. when i was a groomsman for my friend andrew and fiona, i didn't have a great deal to do. wear the suit, make sure my shirt was tucked in, smile for the photos... that was about it. yep. that was about it.
being the m.c. meant i had a few more things to think about. i not exactly reknowned anymore for my punctuality (back in the bad old days i was five minutes early for almost everything), so i was rather keen to outdo myself in sticking to the timetable... but while i thought at the time i was running late, so was the bar staff, and when the first toast was ready to be raised, the grapetise fizzy grape juice we were to be drinking hadn't yet made it to all the tables. other items included, in no particular order:
i'd love to. but don't be surprised if i stress about it, because i want your day to be perfect. because i'm a hopeless romantic. and just plain hopeless.
i was proud and very privileged to have been a part of anthony and taminda's wedding on saturday just gone. right now (hopefully) they are honeymooning without care somewhere in the wide-open yonder, while the rest of us who were at the wedding have returned to our day-to-day existences. i was the third man in the groomsmen, and anthony and taminda asked me to be m.c. at their reception. i thought about it for a while before i said yes. i think i'd do that again if i were asked again.
i was surprised a bit at how much pressure i felt as i performed my duties. when i was a groomsman for my friend andrew and fiona, i didn't have a great deal to do. wear the suit, make sure my shirt was tucked in, smile for the photos... that was about it. yep. that was about it.
being the m.c. meant i had a few more things to think about. i not exactly reknowned anymore for my punctuality (back in the bad old days i was five minutes early for almost everything), so i was rather keen to outdo myself in sticking to the timetable... but while i thought at the time i was running late, so was the bar staff, and when the first toast was ready to be raised, the grapetise fizzy grape juice we were to be drinking hadn't yet made it to all the tables. other items included, in no particular order:
- i didn't realise the cake-cutting knife was already on the table...
- i was thanked when i didn't expect to be...
- a speech was made when i'd been told it wasn't going to be...
i'd love to. but don't be surprised if i stress about it, because i want your day to be perfect. because i'm a hopeless romantic. and just plain hopeless.
... busy week
last week was a very busy week at work. anyone who knows me knows that i almost always say that work is busy, whether or not it empirically is... i think it's because i take on board a lot of stress (validly or not) while i'm at work.
it was also busy because i had actually to go to wauchope for a wedding, which meant that i had friday off work. i left work promptly just before 6pm to catch the train to central, thence to gosford, for a lift with a friend to wauchope, whence we arrived at 11:45pm.
altogether a particularly long day, given that i was up at about 5:50 that morning.
it was also busy because i had actually to go to wauchope for a wedding, which meant that i had friday off work. i left work promptly just before 6pm to catch the train to central, thence to gosford, for a lift with a friend to wauchope, whence we arrived at 11:45pm.
altogether a particularly long day, given that i was up at about 5:50 that morning.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
... short story
found this cool short story by matthew reilly off his website (read about it on his website but had to google it to find it).
check this out... i hope it works!
check this out... i hope it works!
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
... thirty years too late?
in soviet russia, in a small talent agency run from a cupboard in the back of a small balalaika club, a man walks in. he stinks of vodka, as if the effort to walk in the door has taken an enormous amount of georgian courage (like dutch courage, but with vodka... in crates) to perform. the talent agent squints at the man from behind glasses with slightly the wrong prescription and he says, "greetings, tovarisch! what do you want?"
the man replies, "i have an act for you. with my family. a family act."
the agent spreads his hands in a universal gesture of [i can probably help you but i'm going to need a lot of money to do it] and says, "the mother russia is full of family acts, comrade."
"not like this," the man says, shaking his head. "it's... subversive. you could be arrested for even hearing about it."
the talent agent narrowed his eyes. "tell me about this act."
"i set up a counter on the stage. my wife, my two children and my dog come onstage, dressed in their best clothes. i stand behind the counter and say, 'can i help you?' to my wife. she steps straight up to the counter without having to queue and replies, 'i would like to buy two happy meals and a royale with cheese.' i say, 'certainly madame.' i serve her and the children three hamburgers, with a side or two serves of french fries and two small coca-colas. then she gives me some money, i give her change, and she and the children sit down to eat, feeding small tidbits to the dog. and that's it."
the agent is aghast, unable to believe his ears, he stammers, "that's quite an act, tovarisch. what is it called?"
"the capitalists!"
the man replies, "i have an act for you. with my family. a family act."
the agent spreads his hands in a universal gesture of [i can probably help you but i'm going to need a lot of money to do it] and says, "the mother russia is full of family acts, comrade."
"not like this," the man says, shaking his head. "it's... subversive. you could be arrested for even hearing about it."
the talent agent narrowed his eyes. "tell me about this act."
"i set up a counter on the stage. my wife, my two children and my dog come onstage, dressed in their best clothes. i stand behind the counter and say, 'can i help you?' to my wife. she steps straight up to the counter without having to queue and replies, 'i would like to buy two happy meals and a royale with cheese.' i say, 'certainly madame.' i serve her and the children three hamburgers, with a side or two serves of french fries and two small coca-colas. then she gives me some money, i give her change, and she and the children sit down to eat, feeding small tidbits to the dog. and that's it."
the agent is aghast, unable to believe his ears, he stammers, "that's quite an act, tovarisch. what is it called?"
"the capitalists!"
Friday, January 27, 2006
... yay - achievement?
i've finally finished reading all the online cartoons on piled higher and deeper (see link on right). i don't know if this qualifies as an achievement, but it feels like one to me. no need to comment on this, just thinking out loud! ;)
olive tapenade and swiss cheese sandwiches will never, i think, get old-hat for me.
i don't eat enough chocolate yogo anymore. i kind of miss it, but i particularly don't buy it because they seem to be perpetually shrinking the size of the containers they come in. let's face it, they should just make them in a one-litre tub and have done with it. we all know that the little yogo you get in one tub isn't enough...
local time here is 14h47 and i'm only halfway through lunch. that's a sad indictment on how late i start my lunch, although i'm glad i make the time for lunch at all.
i'm reading poetry tonight. should be fun, although it's also likely to be rather warm.
i think i'm spiralling now. ciao.
olive tapenade and swiss cheese sandwiches will never, i think, get old-hat for me.
i don't eat enough chocolate yogo anymore. i kind of miss it, but i particularly don't buy it because they seem to be perpetually shrinking the size of the containers they come in. let's face it, they should just make them in a one-litre tub and have done with it. we all know that the little yogo you get in one tub isn't enough...
local time here is 14h47 and i'm only halfway through lunch. that's a sad indictment on how late i start my lunch, although i'm glad i make the time for lunch at all.
i'm reading poetry tonight. should be fun, although it's also likely to be rather warm.
i think i'm spiralling now. ciao.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
... disappointed
i'm usually disappointed with myself, but at the moment i'm particularly disappointed. this is why.
my last post promised great things, thoughts, prepared agrument. there's nothing. life got so busy around the Christmas period, leading on a camp, visiting friends and relations (i sound like rabbit from pooh), i lost all the fire i had in my belly about all the stuff, the "race riots" (not quite l.a. but big for sydney) that happened.
it's making me think a bit about how i think about life. i don't think i think that much about it, to be honest. if it doesn't affect me immediately (not personally - anyone who knows me knows how much personal stuff i put off too...) then oftentimes i just don't worry about it.
case in point: i had a bunch of stuff i had to return to scripture union after a camp last year, and i only just got it in. i'm not happy about it. i'm pretty much ashamed of myself. but it's been a big mental kick in the pants, and i hope and pray that when it rolls around this year i'll have the chance to prove myself capable of doing the right thing this time.
i hope i will. pray for me. that'd be a big help! :)
my last post promised great things, thoughts, prepared agrument. there's nothing. life got so busy around the Christmas period, leading on a camp, visiting friends and relations (i sound like rabbit from pooh), i lost all the fire i had in my belly about all the stuff, the "race riots" (not quite l.a. but big for sydney) that happened.
it's making me think a bit about how i think about life. i don't think i think that much about it, to be honest. if it doesn't affect me immediately (not personally - anyone who knows me knows how much personal stuff i put off too...) then oftentimes i just don't worry about it.
case in point: i had a bunch of stuff i had to return to scripture union after a camp last year, and i only just got it in. i'm not happy about it. i'm pretty much ashamed of myself. but it's been a big mental kick in the pants, and i hope and pray that when it rolls around this year i'll have the chance to prove myself capable of doing the right thing this time.
i hope i will. pray for me. that'd be a big help! :)
Friday, December 16, 2005
... deafening
i've been interested to see and hear the reportage and discussion surrounding the recent racial unrest in sydney, and what's being said, and who's saying it.
i've never really been one for the beach, slightly remarkable given my childhood in the illawarra, an area noted for its near-heliotheistic worship of beach life. just saying the word beach makes me feel like i've got sand in my underpants. (excuse me...) so in a sense, i really have very little invested in a discussion of the tribal conflicts of sydney beaches. on the other hand, i have a keen investment in orderly society, and as a Christian i have an intensely keen interest in a society of justice and compassion. tolerance is all very nice, but there are some things that should not be tolerated.
i've got to gather my thoughts about this. i'll be pondering over the weekend, putting my thoughts in order. chances are i won't have that much to say, given how little i think of what i think in the grand scheme of things. Still, i have begun writing in this forum and it's something i'm thinking about and want to say something about.
stay tuned...
i've never really been one for the beach, slightly remarkable given my childhood in the illawarra, an area noted for its near-heliotheistic worship of beach life. just saying the word beach makes me feel like i've got sand in my underpants. (excuse me...) so in a sense, i really have very little invested in a discussion of the tribal conflicts of sydney beaches. on the other hand, i have a keen investment in orderly society, and as a Christian i have an intensely keen interest in a society of justice and compassion. tolerance is all very nice, but there are some things that should not be tolerated.
i've got to gather my thoughts about this. i'll be pondering over the weekend, putting my thoughts in order. chances are i won't have that much to say, given how little i think of what i think in the grand scheme of things. Still, i have begun writing in this forum and it's something i'm thinking about and want to say something about.
stay tuned...
Thursday, December 08, 2005
... premature
i think that in light of the weather in the sydney basin yesterday, perhaps my rant about the weather on monday was a tad premature. however "unprintable" my feelings on monday, my feelings yesterday would probably have been labelled "obscene and unfit for publication". i hate this hot, humid weather.
on the other hand, i love sauteed mushrooms on toast and my new favourite cafe, vanilla bean & lime (61 howard rd, padstow, +61 2 9774 3875). lou does them in garlic butter, and i could barely see the plate underneath them this morning, as with saucer-eyes i beheld the procession of delicious delectables that made up my breakfast: mushies on toast, olive and cheese melt (yummy!), and my perennial mocha coffee. with abba music in the background, i don't think i could have enjoyed breakfast any more than i did.
it was exactly the springboard i needed to make a better job of my day. i even slept well last night! (who'd have thought?)
on the other hand, i love sauteed mushrooms on toast and my new favourite cafe, vanilla bean & lime (61 howard rd, padstow, +61 2 9774 3875). lou does them in garlic butter, and i could barely see the plate underneath them this morning, as with saucer-eyes i beheld the procession of delicious delectables that made up my breakfast: mushies on toast, olive and cheese melt (yummy!), and my perennial mocha coffee. with abba music in the background, i don't think i could have enjoyed breakfast any more than i did.
it was exactly the springboard i needed to make a better job of my day. i even slept well last night! (who'd have thought?)
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
... unprintable weather
when i first read isaac asimov's foundation series, one of the things i found terribly quaint and humourous were the instances of the word "unprintable". i occasionally asked myself, what was so bad that it was unprintable? given that i was about 9 or 10 years old when i first read foundation, i suppose i hadn't really thought too creatively about it. now i'm a bit older and far more cynical than i was then (starry-eyed i was at that tender age... well, before i turned 9 at any rate), and thinking creatively i can guess what "unprintable" might have meant. rather a lot like i feel about this weather we have in sydney at the moment.
i drank 4 gatorade bottles' worth of water yesterday - roughly 2.5 litres - just at work, notwithstanding the other liquid i consumed before and after work. if anyone has a work position available on a ship bound for antarctica, i'm happy to peel potatoes, sort screws, whatever it takes to get to somewhere colder...
i drank 4 gatorade bottles' worth of water yesterday - roughly 2.5 litres - just at work, notwithstanding the other liquid i consumed before and after work. if anyone has a work position available on a ship bound for antarctica, i'm happy to peel potatoes, sort screws, whatever it takes to get to somewhere colder...
Saturday, December 03, 2005
... ch-ch-ch-changes
i've added a couple of links to the right-hand side here ---------->
for some things i've seen that have really made an impact on me. the creating passionate users site i linked to from cafedave, and it looks like it's going to be well-worth trawling through in times when i feel like having a quiet, brain-fertilising read. the piled higher and deeper page is another comic strip that i fell in love with while i was away on holidays.
(erk, as our latest phd condidate, it may prove useful reading for you!)
for some things i've seen that have really made an impact on me. the creating passionate users site i linked to from cafedave, and it looks like it's going to be well-worth trawling through in times when i feel like having a quiet, brain-fertilising read. the piled higher and deeper page is another comic strip that i fell in love with while i was away on holidays.
(erk, as our latest phd condidate, it may prove useful reading for you!)
Thursday, December 01, 2005
... glorious
read about this blog when i was on the train tonight coming home. definitely worth a look.
grab your fork
a blog you can sink your teeth into.
grab your fork
a blog you can sink your teeth into.
... already?! (2)
well, i'm back from the states and already it's been over a week since i blogged! i can't believe how quickly the time flies. just a few notes... hopefully i'll have a bit more tomorrow.
1. the trip from jamaica center to jfk in the "airtrain" was pretty good... reminded me a lot of the monorail around sydney, although it also put me in mind of the l-train in miami in "driver". i was sad leaving, but glad to have had the opportunity to be able to leave... i at least was there for a while.
2. united are way cool... i like them a lot. everyone was very helpful and friendly, even when they were really tired (and i liked that they could admit to being that tired!). if i travel to america again, i'll definitely be flying united.
3. when i check in at jfk united bumped me to an earlier flight to lax, and i ended up sitting two seats to the left of where i was when i flew lax-jfk! then boarding the plane at lax for sydney, i was sitting one seat to the right of where i'd been coming over!
4. i've got hooked on hot apple cider, and (to my shame) i have been into starbucks (twice) to imbibe. once i've found a sufficiently sweet apple juice on its own that i can nuke in the microwave, i won't have to visit... there... again.
5. work has been very busy, and already i want another holiday. roll on Christmas hols! (only 22 sleeps until the last work day of the year!)
as an aside i now see what erk was talking about viz. the time- and date-stamping for posts. i guess i'm just going to leave it in the lap of the gods. for the record, my time is 13h46 (EDST) 1/12/2005.
toodles!
1. the trip from jamaica center to jfk in the "airtrain" was pretty good... reminded me a lot of the monorail around sydney, although it also put me in mind of the l-train in miami in "driver". i was sad leaving, but glad to have had the opportunity to be able to leave... i at least was there for a while.
2. united are way cool... i like them a lot. everyone was very helpful and friendly, even when they were really tired (and i liked that they could admit to being that tired!). if i travel to america again, i'll definitely be flying united.
3. when i check in at jfk united bumped me to an earlier flight to lax, and i ended up sitting two seats to the left of where i was when i flew lax-jfk! then boarding the plane at lax for sydney, i was sitting one seat to the right of where i'd been coming over!
4. i've got hooked on hot apple cider, and (to my shame) i have been into starbucks (twice) to imbibe. once i've found a sufficiently sweet apple juice on its own that i can nuke in the microwave, i won't have to visit... there... again.
5. work has been very busy, and already i want another holiday. roll on Christmas hols! (only 22 sleeps until the last work day of the year!)
as an aside i now see what erk was talking about viz. the time- and date-stamping for posts. i guess i'm just going to leave it in the lap of the gods. for the record, my time is 13h46 (EDST) 1/12/2005.
toodles!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
... almost
well, one more sleep and then i'm back off home. new york city has been a whirlwind visit... or maybe i should say hurricane, after the rain and extreme winds up on top of the empire state building today. the rain let up this afternoon, and julie and i did some rather more serious shopping. we looked around macy's, checked out a rather nifty french language librarie, and had dinner at a particularly nice risotto restaurant. after the risotto dinner, we meandered around to the cupcake place... ummm... magnolia bakery(?) and got some cupcakes. i'm sure we'll eat them in the morning on the way to the met.
after the met, i'm off to catch the air train to jfk. julie wants to pack me onto it at jamaica center, which sounds like a fair enough plan... it'll be touch and go if i can find where i'm going to when i get to jfk anyway, but if she has any doubts about me finding the right terminal, i suppose she'll feel it incumbent upon her to make sure i get there ok. which of course means i feel it incumbent upon me to make sure she doesn't have to.
it's snowing in ithaca (bugger!!!) and julie is hoping to get back there not too late, so i'm equally keen to make sure she gets on a reasonable bus home. neither of us is travelling particularly light (i have souvenirs and julie has... stuff), but all in all i've had a good time here in new york city.
i'll blog again later about my overall impressions... i think it'll make for a fairly lengthy post and one i'm not about to waste my meagre internet cafe time on now. i'm due to arrive in sydney between 8 and 8:30am on friday morning (25 november) for anyone who's interested. if you're desperately keen to meet me at the airport (after all, i travel overseas ALL the time), you can email me at adam_lavery at operamail dot com.
after the met, i'm off to catch the air train to jfk. julie wants to pack me onto it at jamaica center, which sounds like a fair enough plan... it'll be touch and go if i can find where i'm going to when i get to jfk anyway, but if she has any doubts about me finding the right terminal, i suppose she'll feel it incumbent upon her to make sure i get there ok. which of course means i feel it incumbent upon me to make sure she doesn't have to.
it's snowing in ithaca (bugger!!!) and julie is hoping to get back there not too late, so i'm equally keen to make sure she gets on a reasonable bus home. neither of us is travelling particularly light (i have souvenirs and julie has... stuff), but all in all i've had a good time here in new york city.
i'll blog again later about my overall impressions... i think it'll make for a fairly lengthy post and one i'm not about to waste my meagre internet cafe time on now. i'm due to arrive in sydney between 8 and 8:30am on friday morning (25 november) for anyone who's interested. if you're desperately keen to meet me at the airport (after all, i travel overseas ALL the time), you can email me at adam_lavery at operamail dot com.
Monday, November 21, 2005
... already?!
well, today's my last day in delightful ithaca, ny. it really is gorges here... lots of them. i walked down one yesterday called cascadilla gorge, and i think if i'd gone down it on my first day here i might have wasted all my time thinking up ways of staying here longer... instead of wasting my time... the way i have... ummm... yeah... anyway...
point being is that i've had a great time here. julie's been an awesome hostess, by which i mean to say that she's been as welcoming as i could possibly have hoped, introduced me to her friends and coworkers, which has been great, and all of whom strike me as being the good value kind of people i feel comfortable having around a friend. i've tried to be as low-impact as possible, and hopefully i've been a not entirely unpleasant guest to have stay.
ithaca by turns reminds me of kiama, and canberra, and wollongong. it's not as cold as i was hoping (not that i'm going to be looking for a refund on my gloves!) but it's been much cooler here than sydney... i'm SO not looking forward to the humidity of sydney after the delightful dry atmosphere here. julie's been complaining about frizzing hair, but i've not felt so healthy for some time. the temperature, the humidity, the distinctly relaxed atmosphere... melbourne is looking more attractive for me all the time.
tomorrow is new york city, then wednesday i'm off home. up until thursday just gone it felt like time was taking ages to pass, but in the last few days it's been hard to believe that time has gone by so quickly! relativity's a pain in the butt.
i've been writing, though, and i'm looking forward to going to mars hill when i get back. hopefully i'll have enough energy to enjoy it.
point being is that i've had a great time here. julie's been an awesome hostess, by which i mean to say that she's been as welcoming as i could possibly have hoped, introduced me to her friends and coworkers, which has been great, and all of whom strike me as being the good value kind of people i feel comfortable having around a friend. i've tried to be as low-impact as possible, and hopefully i've been a not entirely unpleasant guest to have stay.
ithaca by turns reminds me of kiama, and canberra, and wollongong. it's not as cold as i was hoping (not that i'm going to be looking for a refund on my gloves!) but it's been much cooler here than sydney... i'm SO not looking forward to the humidity of sydney after the delightful dry atmosphere here. julie's been complaining about frizzing hair, but i've not felt so healthy for some time. the temperature, the humidity, the distinctly relaxed atmosphere... melbourne is looking more attractive for me all the time.
tomorrow is new york city, then wednesday i'm off home. up until thursday just gone it felt like time was taking ages to pass, but in the last few days it's been hard to believe that time has gone by so quickly! relativity's a pain in the butt.
i've been writing, though, and i'm looking forward to going to mars hill when i get back. hopefully i'll have enough energy to enjoy it.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
... well, here we are
actually, if you read kim stanley robinson's novel red mars you'll see that those are the first words spoken by man on mars. in a way, ifeel a little like that's what's happened to me in the last couple of days... it's a bit like being on mars: you can look at it, think you're prepared, and when you get there it's not quite what you expected.
my flight was due to leave sydney at 4.25... it didn't actually leave until about 6pm. that meant that i missed my connecting flight in LA for NY. customs didn't take long to process us, and they didn't take the timtams i brought (very nice of them, as they were very well received) but baggage claim for rebooking took ages, and rebooking itself likewise took rather a while.
as i was standing in the queue, i took a moment to observe the departures board and decided instead of taking the next flight, arriving in NY at midnight, then hinewyork about 12.30am, then getting to port authority for 8am, i decided that a late flight would be better. i rebooked for the 10.10pm from LA, cancelled my booking at hinewyork, then bummed around LAX for 7 hours. i formed a few lasting impressions about the US, and about myself in the process, which i may decided to share later.
after a near miss at LAX, when i found out with 5 minutes to board that i was at the wrong gate, i boarded without further incident and headed east. what an awesome time to travel. i must have dozed from time to time - i didn't sleep as far as i know at any part of the journey, but i definitely dozed - but i did get to see the lights of many US cities. gorgeous. what during the day would have been generally drab green or blue/grey cityscape at night became dazzling gold stars on a rolling sea of black velvet. NY was great to see like this. by the time i got to the bus to port authority, the dawn was just peeking through road pylons and buildings, gibbous and orange.
the bus driver to port authority was cool, which might have been a good karmic opinion to form when, upon buying my bus ticket to ithaca, i realised that i didn't have my luggage! i ran out of PA onto 8th avenue, turned the corner onto 42nd, praying he'd be there still...
and he was!
arrived at ithaca about 1pm. i realised that from the time i was supposed to depart, to the time julie picked me up, i had been in transit for almost 37 hours.
but i can't express how glad i am to be here...
my flight was due to leave sydney at 4.25... it didn't actually leave until about 6pm. that meant that i missed my connecting flight in LA for NY. customs didn't take long to process us, and they didn't take the timtams i brought (very nice of them, as they were very well received) but baggage claim for rebooking took ages, and rebooking itself likewise took rather a while.
as i was standing in the queue, i took a moment to observe the departures board and decided instead of taking the next flight, arriving in NY at midnight, then hinewyork about 12.30am, then getting to port authority for 8am, i decided that a late flight would be better. i rebooked for the 10.10pm from LA, cancelled my booking at hinewyork, then bummed around LAX for 7 hours. i formed a few lasting impressions about the US, and about myself in the process, which i may decided to share later.
after a near miss at LAX, when i found out with 5 minutes to board that i was at the wrong gate, i boarded without further incident and headed east. what an awesome time to travel. i must have dozed from time to time - i didn't sleep as far as i know at any part of the journey, but i definitely dozed - but i did get to see the lights of many US cities. gorgeous. what during the day would have been generally drab green or blue/grey cityscape at night became dazzling gold stars on a rolling sea of black velvet. NY was great to see like this. by the time i got to the bus to port authority, the dawn was just peeking through road pylons and buildings, gibbous and orange.
the bus driver to port authority was cool, which might have been a good karmic opinion to form when, upon buying my bus ticket to ithaca, i realised that i didn't have my luggage! i ran out of PA onto 8th avenue, turned the corner onto 42nd, praying he'd be there still...
and he was!
arrived at ithaca about 1pm. i realised that from the time i was supposed to depart, to the time julie picked me up, i had been in transit for almost 37 hours.
but i can't express how glad i am to be here...
Friday, November 11, 2005
... straws
i just heard from my boss that a man in melbourne was arrested for firing oranges at houses from a p.v.c. pipe gun. apparently, frozen oranges, fired using sufficient accelerant or other explosive charge from the tube, could actually go through a car door! a wag has been heard to comment, "so would that constitute a navel attack?"
two sleeps to go until i fly off the city so nice they named it twice. i'm rather looking forward to getting away from this crappy sydney weather - i can do without the humidity that makes an ordinary temperature extraordinarily annoying. my level of keenness to be enjoying the closing weeks of a new york autumn is matched only by my dread at the thought of coming back to this foul, steamy, can't get away from it without air conditioning weather that we've developed here in sydney. as i write this, i am aware of a southerly change that has arrived, bringing with it some rain, possibly a storm, but pessimist that i am i can't help but think this is more fuel for the mugginess.
currently reading lectures by wittgenstein on the foundations of mathematics (oxford, 1939)... interesting, especially given the interplay by people like alan turing during the lectures...
two sleeps to go until i fly off the city so nice they named it twice. i'm rather looking forward to getting away from this crappy sydney weather - i can do without the humidity that makes an ordinary temperature extraordinarily annoying. my level of keenness to be enjoying the closing weeks of a new york autumn is matched only by my dread at the thought of coming back to this foul, steamy, can't get away from it without air conditioning weather that we've developed here in sydney. as i write this, i am aware of a southerly change that has arrived, bringing with it some rain, possibly a storm, but pessimist that i am i can't help but think this is more fuel for the mugginess.
currently reading lectures by wittgenstein on the foundations of mathematics (oxford, 1939)... interesting, especially given the interplay by people like alan turing during the lectures...
Friday, November 04, 2005
... eight sleeps to go...
i'm just a little bit excited because i only have a week to go until i leave to go to new york. it's only just kind of settling into my brain that that's actually what's happening... it's been a plan for so long, i don't think i'll really believe i'm going until after i've come back and had the pictures developed!
judging by the amount of sleep i've had this week, i'm not really expecting to get much more next week, which (hopefully) means i'll be snoozing all the way to america... which would be nice.
judging by the amount of sleep i've had this week, i'm not really expecting to get much more next week, which (hopefully) means i'll be snoozing all the way to america... which would be nice.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
... time marches on
not in a "for whom the bell tolls" (metallica) kind of way, maybe. circumstances have reached a kind of ... intersection in my life where i've been thinking a bit about what kind of life i've lived and where i've been and, to a certain extent, where i'm going.
in the short term, i'm going to america! (only 11 sleeps to go!) this has actually been one of the things i've been thinking about.
the last time i went overseas, i went to china with a group from my old school. that was in january,1993. thinking about it, i have memories that feel like only yesterday, although some memories have devolved into those facts-and-figures style memories that aren't true ones, but rather the stories that one tells about some past event, stories you remember better than what they actually describe.
in other news, it's my birthday this month, but other people are also having their birthdays earlier than mine... (happy birthday for friday, motherly type person!!! heheh) i turn 31, which feels kind of... old. it's the stupidest feeling in the world, because i'm the youngest person at my workplace by about 4 or 5 years. what i think it is, is that when i look back on my life thus far, there's more to catalogue than i can actually remember.
ask me what i did this week just gone, and i can remember in broad strokes what i did, but my memory is beginning to fail in the details. i wasn't actually expecting to notice that kind of thing until, oh, i had kids, or some other life-changing event. i find i'm longing for the kind of memory that sax russell (one of the main protagonists of kim stanley robinson's mars sequence) worked to develop, with more room and better filing.
i don't think i've actually lost memories. i think i've just lost access to them. i often in conversation refer to my brain as a library using old-fashioned file cards to index it. while the library itself is theoretically infinite (given the laws of functioning l-space, viz terry pratchett's discworld novels), the file card box i have for indexing it is proving to be about the size of the shoebox a kindergarten kid's first school shoes come in!
curiouser and curiouser...
(i should say more curious and more curious, but even then it doesn't make much sense...)
in the short term, i'm going to america! (only 11 sleeps to go!) this has actually been one of the things i've been thinking about.
the last time i went overseas, i went to china with a group from my old school. that was in january,1993. thinking about it, i have memories that feel like only yesterday, although some memories have devolved into those facts-and-figures style memories that aren't true ones, but rather the stories that one tells about some past event, stories you remember better than what they actually describe.
in other news, it's my birthday this month, but other people are also having their birthdays earlier than mine... (happy birthday for friday, motherly type person!!! heheh) i turn 31, which feels kind of... old. it's the stupidest feeling in the world, because i'm the youngest person at my workplace by about 4 or 5 years. what i think it is, is that when i look back on my life thus far, there's more to catalogue than i can actually remember.
ask me what i did this week just gone, and i can remember in broad strokes what i did, but my memory is beginning to fail in the details. i wasn't actually expecting to notice that kind of thing until, oh, i had kids, or some other life-changing event. i find i'm longing for the kind of memory that sax russell (one of the main protagonists of kim stanley robinson's mars sequence) worked to develop, with more room and better filing.
i don't think i've actually lost memories. i think i've just lost access to them. i often in conversation refer to my brain as a library using old-fashioned file cards to index it. while the library itself is theoretically infinite (given the laws of functioning l-space, viz terry pratchett's discworld novels), the file card box i have for indexing it is proving to be about the size of the shoebox a kindergarten kid's first school shoes come in!
curiouser and curiouser...
(i should say more curious and more curious, but even then it doesn't make much sense...)
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Thursday, October 20, 2005
... t-minus 24 sleeps...
i've had a request for travelling details. i'm making two trips in the near future.
trip number 1: melbourne.
whoop-di-doo, i hear some people breathe, but it's this weekend, and i'm flying down - first time i've been in a plane since i went to china (and for those who don't know that was a good 12.5 years ago)... it's a bit of a dry run to make sure i don't freak out in the enclosed space. i know i probably won't, but it's also a nice excuse to visit a city i really enjoy being in. i can also catch up with a few friends down there, barb, sally and sue-ellen.
trip number 2: new york state.
i leave on november 12 and arrive back home on november 25. i'm flying to new york city, staying overnight (since i arrive 9:30pm local time) then catch the bus to ithaca, where i'm going to be staying with julie for a week, then i believe we're both coming back to new york city where we'll be another two nights looking around the place, then i'm back home. bit of a whistle-stop visit, but there you go.
i haven't been on holidays overseas for ages, and it's kind of exciting now to actually be going again. i always had an excuse - my sister's been living overseas for ages, but i hate enough that we have trouble getting along while she's here in australia, i couldn't bear having fights with her while i was overseas. julie was gracious enough to say that i could stay with her, and i'm taking her up on that. it'll also be nice to see someone i only get to talk to in the morning when i'm journalling over my coffee... not that i get much of a reply that way, but i do hear stuff after a while! :)
i'm looking forward to getting away from my life here in australia for a little while, hopefully making a good start on some writing ideas i have, and thinking through stuff that's on my heart to think about. God's been doing so much in my life, in my thoughts and my heart, it'll be nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and just ... be.
and i'll be seeing my best friend, which is always nice.
trip number 1: melbourne.
whoop-di-doo, i hear some people breathe, but it's this weekend, and i'm flying down - first time i've been in a plane since i went to china (and for those who don't know that was a good 12.5 years ago)... it's a bit of a dry run to make sure i don't freak out in the enclosed space. i know i probably won't, but it's also a nice excuse to visit a city i really enjoy being in. i can also catch up with a few friends down there, barb, sally and sue-ellen.
trip number 2: new york state.
i leave on november 12 and arrive back home on november 25. i'm flying to new york city, staying overnight (since i arrive 9:30pm local time) then catch the bus to ithaca, where i'm going to be staying with julie for a week, then i believe we're both coming back to new york city where we'll be another two nights looking around the place, then i'm back home. bit of a whistle-stop visit, but there you go.
i haven't been on holidays overseas for ages, and it's kind of exciting now to actually be going again. i always had an excuse - my sister's been living overseas for ages, but i hate enough that we have trouble getting along while she's here in australia, i couldn't bear having fights with her while i was overseas. julie was gracious enough to say that i could stay with her, and i'm taking her up on that. it'll also be nice to see someone i only get to talk to in the morning when i'm journalling over my coffee... not that i get much of a reply that way, but i do hear stuff after a while! :)
i'm looking forward to getting away from my life here in australia for a little while, hopefully making a good start on some writing ideas i have, and thinking through stuff that's on my heart to think about. God's been doing so much in my life, in my thoughts and my heart, it'll be nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and just ... be.
and i'll be seeing my best friend, which is always nice.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
... gordon greenwood... i mean, graham goldsworthy...
i've been having a terrible time lately telling people that i'm reading gospel and kingdom by graham goldsworthy. every time i try to say graham goldsworthy, i go to say gordon greenwood. "who is gordon greenwood?" i hear you ask... well, he wrote a book called the modern world, which we used as a textbook in 2- and 3-unit modern history when i did the hsc in '92.
anyway, a bit i read in g&k today gave me pause, and i thought i'd blog it. i journalled it too, but my reader won't get to see it for a while, since it's in the interim journal!
...[w]hen we allow the whole Bible - Old and New Testaments - to speak to us, we find that those subjective aspects of the Christian life which are undoubtedly important - the new life, faith and sanctification - are the fruits of the gospel... [it] is rooted and grounded in the history of redemption. It is the good news about Jesus, before it can become good news for sinful men and women...
[ just before the end of chapter 1 ]
i don't know if i've ever really considered my faith or new birth as fruits of the gospel - gifts from God certainly, but not as flowers on the orchid of the gospel! the importance of the gospel is then... proportionately (?) so much greater for looking at it like that!
also exciting but not quite so much is reading it explicitly said that the gospel is about Jesus before it is for people, sinful people (to use a tautology). to see it written down explicitly in black and white... exciting.
anyway, a bit i read in g&k today gave me pause, and i thought i'd blog it. i journalled it too, but my reader won't get to see it for a while, since it's in the interim journal!
...[w]hen we allow the whole Bible - Old and New Testaments - to speak to us, we find that those subjective aspects of the Christian life which are undoubtedly important - the new life, faith and sanctification - are the fruits of the gospel... [it] is rooted and grounded in the history of redemption. It is the good news about Jesus, before it can become good news for sinful men and women...
[ just before the end of chapter 1 ]
i don't know if i've ever really considered my faith or new birth as fruits of the gospel - gifts from God certainly, but not as flowers on the orchid of the gospel! the importance of the gospel is then... proportionately (?) so much greater for looking at it like that!
also exciting but not quite so much is reading it explicitly said that the gospel is about Jesus before it is for people, sinful people (to use a tautology). to see it written down explicitly in black and white... exciting.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
... travelling
after many years of poking and prodding by my family, i am travelling again. twelve years ago i went overseas for a couple of weeks, and now, in november, i'm going to be travelling again. i buy my ticket this week, and i'm actualy starting to get excited.
t-minus 32 sleeps and counting?
t-minus 32 sleeps and counting?
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
... oi, oi, oi...
well, i finished seven ancient wonders yesterday morning, not early after midnight, but early after breakfast. it was a great read...
... but it's the first matthew reilly book i've read that hasn't blown me away.
i can't believe i'm saying that, but that's how i feel. even hell island was impacting. that was like an awesome ten-minute preview to a movie, or one of those awesome advertisements that's almost better than the movie you're going to see at the cinema. (the advertising campaign "revolution" for the sega saturn game console was like that... shame the console never really took off - it was a brilliant advert... )
it was fast, but not that fast. it was exciting, but not as exciting as temple, say. i think... i think it would've been a better follow-up book.
maybe if i'd read a novella or something about jack west, jr, beforehand? about what happened at basra? it all just seemed a little bit... contrived?
i wish i wasn't saying this, but it's the first matthew reilly novel i've kind of felt a bit... unsurprised at.
it's good. don't get me wrong. it's good.
i'm just not sure it's as good as his other work. it's the latest, but i'm not sure it's the greatest.
sorry, matthew. please believe me when i say, i'm a fan of your work until the day i die.
... but it's the first matthew reilly book i've read that hasn't blown me away.
i can't believe i'm saying that, but that's how i feel. even hell island was impacting. that was like an awesome ten-minute preview to a movie, or one of those awesome advertisements that's almost better than the movie you're going to see at the cinema. (the advertising campaign "revolution" for the sega saturn game console was like that... shame the console never really took off - it was a brilliant advert... )
it was fast, but not that fast. it was exciting, but not as exciting as temple, say. i think... i think it would've been a better follow-up book.
maybe if i'd read a novella or something about jack west, jr, beforehand? about what happened at basra? it all just seemed a little bit... contrived?
i wish i wasn't saying this, but it's the first matthew reilly novel i've kind of felt a bit... unsurprised at.
it's good. don't get me wrong. it's good.
i'm just not sure it's as good as his other work. it's the latest, but i'm not sure it's the greatest.
sorry, matthew. please believe me when i say, i'm a fan of your work until the day i die.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
... reilly! reilly! reilly!
JUST bought matthew reilly's new book, seven ancient wonders.
at k-mart.
for $26.95.
in hardback.
(until i actually read it, i don't think there's much else to say. why are you stil here? go buy the book!!!)
at k-mart.
for $26.95.
in hardback.
(until i actually read it, i don't think there's much else to say. why are you stil here? go buy the book!!!)
Thursday, October 06, 2005
... temple
temple is the second of matthew reilly's books that i ever read, ice station being the first and contest being the third. anyone who knows me and who's heard me talk about his books knows i get very evangelistic about them. (not infrequently do i wish i could bring myself to be so engaged about the Bible!)
i finished reading it again this morning, on the way to work. it would make an excellent film (of course, all of his books would - be looking out for news about the production of hover car racer, once hollywood gets its butt in gear...)
i was thinking who i would cast the film with. frank nash would easily be played by brian cox (slight typecasting, but i don't think he'd mind). the other cast would be a bit harder, but i was thinking william race could be played by edward norton... similarly to the character in primal fear, but instead of swinging wildly between the two, norton would show a gradual strengthening in the face of opposition as race discovers just how heroic he could be. brendan fraser would be too nice, i think, although i still haven't seen the quiet american yet.
and for ice station readers, how about rob morrow from numb3rs and northern exposure to play shane schofield?
i finished reading it again this morning, on the way to work. it would make an excellent film (of course, all of his books would - be looking out for news about the production of hover car racer, once hollywood gets its butt in gear...)
i was thinking who i would cast the film with. frank nash would easily be played by brian cox (slight typecasting, but i don't think he'd mind). the other cast would be a bit harder, but i was thinking william race could be played by edward norton... similarly to the character in primal fear, but instead of swinging wildly between the two, norton would show a gradual strengthening in the face of opposition as race discovers just how heroic he could be. brendan fraser would be too nice, i think, although i still haven't seen the quiet american yet.
and for ice station readers, how about rob morrow from numb3rs and northern exposure to play shane schofield?
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
... rhyme
This is the house that John built.
This is the rum that lay in house that John built.
These are the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
This is the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
This is the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
These are the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
These are the sheep ruled by the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
This is the game played by the sheep ruled by the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
These are the snakes that win the game played by the sheep ruled by the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
This is the weasel that charmed the snakes that win the game played by the sheep ruled by the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
This is the rum that lay in house that John built.
These are the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
This is the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
This is the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
These are the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
These are the sheep ruled by the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
This is the game played by the sheep ruled by the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
These are the snakes that win the game played by the sheep ruled by the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
This is the weasel that charmed the snakes that win the game played by the sheep ruled by the pigs that followed the dog that shamed the cat that hid from the rats that drank the rum that lay in house that John built.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
... memememememememememe
this is my long-promised book meme, which, as i explained to my best friend last night, has been somewhat frustrating to put together, since every time i sat down to do it, my "last book bought" entry has changed - every time!
now, as i understand it (or as i remember it), the meme consists of (i) total number of books owned in my lifetime, (ii) last book bought, and (iii) five books that have impacted me somehow (not necessarily my five favourite books). so here we go.
(i) total number of books owned in my lifetime: about 1,250.
i arrived at this figure by a kind of circuitous route. before i moved to chatswood from kogarah, i engaged in what can only be called a massacre of my bookshelf. my current library is made up of several semi-discreet sections of books. one section, my "christian" bookshelf, escaped the cull. another section, my cookery bookshelf, also escaped more or less intact, sans one or two books. the rest of my books have been gradually added to over the last sixteen months, by a disturbingly not-small amount (about forty to fifty books, i think...). what arrived in chatswood as "the rest of my bookshelf" amounted to roughly 20% of my books before the cull. say, 180 books. so, about 900, pre-cull. plus the other two bookshelves, that's about 1,050. plus what i'd lost, loaned, sold, before the cull - let's say about 150. that makes about 1,200. plus what i've acquired since my move north of the bridge - let's say 50. that makes about 1,250 books.
notwithstanding comics. add my former comic book collection to that, you're looking at upwards of 2,100 books.
a few interesting things to note. i've bought matthew reilly's book ice station six times now. (can i get a free book, matt?) i've replaced lost-in-loan books in my terry pratchett collection on a few occasions. i finally found the cybernetic samurai after fifteen years of searching for it secondhand.
(ii) last book purchased: edward lear - the complete nonsense & other verse, vivien noakes (ed.)
bought it for $6.95 down from $24.95 from basement books, in the devonshire street tunnel, railway square, sydney. one of the best bookshops insydney, and where you'll find all kinds of cool stuff. were it not for basement books, my ipod would still be another interesting gift i'd never put to use...
two poems from edward lear to give you an idea (if you've never heard a limerick about a man from peru, i suppose)
"She sits upon her Bulbul"
She sits upon her Bulbul
Through the long long hours of night -
And o'er the dark horizon gleams
The Yashmack's fitful light.
The long Yaourt sails slowly down
The deep and craggy dell -
And from his lofty nest, loud screams
The white-plumed Asphodel.
"The Quangle Wangle's Hat" (a fragment)
On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat.
For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,
With ribbons and bibbons on every side,
And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,
So that nobody ever could see the face
Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
(iii) five books that have impacted me somehow.
1/ c.s. lewis, the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe - the first fantasy story that i ever really was caught up into, so that i never wanted to stop reading it. i think the original copy that i had was a Christmas gift in 1978, or maybe 1979. i later gave it to my best friend, duc, in maybe 1982, or 1983. this book, along with the rest of the chronicles of narnia, was formative in my journey into the realm of fantasy and science fiction, the wonderful world of s.f.
2/ william gibson, neuromancer - still to this day, i think, the best science fiction novel i've ever read. gibson's vision of a future where the internet is such an integral part of everyday life that he coined the term "the matrix" decades before the film was made that used the matrix as the means for all humans to interact with one another. "cyberspace. a consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts..." tell me that's not where we're going.
3/ dr. seuss, the cat in the hat - nothing else matches this book for sheer poetry. if i'd never before had a love for rhyme or rhythm, this book alone would have given it me. everyone should read it, everyone should learn to recite it.
4/ robert browning, selected poetry - one of the two poets we studied for the hsc in 1992, browning created characters delivering dramatic monologues, characters who were (apparently) "morally reprehensible". the bishop, the duke and porphyria's lover all showed me the power of story and atmosphere to overcome formal boundaries - the rhyme and rhythm of his poems never stood out for me; they always blended into the background, such that a goal of my own writing has always been (even if rarely if ever achieved) to use traditional forms of poetry with modern and more naturalistic language pattern. ironically, while i loved browning for his characters and form, the poet i loathed while studying her (for whom i now have much respect, gwen harwood) achieved in numerous examples exactly what i wanted to do.
5/ edwin black, i.b.m. and the holocaust - a deeply impacting book for me, which utterly underlined the incredible unlikelihood of a corporation acting out of any motive barring the profit motive. i am gradually entering the world of non-fiction thanks to this and books like richard preston's the hot zone and naomi klein's no logo, and hopefully i won't be limited to books that address what may be called sensational issues, but also less exotic ones as well. sitting on top of my e.e. cummings selected poems 1923-1958 (faber & faber), is a book by edward hirsch, how to read a poem, and fall in love with poetry. these books are gradually awakening in me a desire to read more about the world around me, not in newspapers or magazines, but in researched and considered detail. i don't expect unbiased opinion, but i want to be made to think about what i'm reading, as well as what the writer has written about. if that makes sense.
honorable mentions should go to:
- matthew reilly, ice station
- lewis carroll, alice's adventures in wonderland
- stephen king, it
- clive barker, the books of blood, vol.1-6
- terry pratchett, (everything he's written, basically!)
- john bunyan, the pilgrim's progress
- j.i. packer, knowing God (my own personal everest)
- anne rice, interview with the vampire
- j.r.r.tolkien, the lord of the rings (of course)
- richard adams, watership down
- betsy byars, the cybil war (which condemned me to be a romantic for all time...)
so there you go, that's my book meme. i have no idea who to tag for this. if you've got this far, why not do one yourself?
now, as i understand it (or as i remember it), the meme consists of (i) total number of books owned in my lifetime, (ii) last book bought, and (iii) five books that have impacted me somehow (not necessarily my five favourite books). so here we go.
(i) total number of books owned in my lifetime: about 1,250.
i arrived at this figure by a kind of circuitous route. before i moved to chatswood from kogarah, i engaged in what can only be called a massacre of my bookshelf. my current library is made up of several semi-discreet sections of books. one section, my "christian" bookshelf, escaped the cull. another section, my cookery bookshelf, also escaped more or less intact, sans one or two books. the rest of my books have been gradually added to over the last sixteen months, by a disturbingly not-small amount (about forty to fifty books, i think...). what arrived in chatswood as "the rest of my bookshelf" amounted to roughly 20% of my books before the cull. say, 180 books. so, about 900, pre-cull. plus the other two bookshelves, that's about 1,050. plus what i'd lost, loaned, sold, before the cull - let's say about 150. that makes about 1,200. plus what i've acquired since my move north of the bridge - let's say 50. that makes about 1,250 books.
notwithstanding comics. add my former comic book collection to that, you're looking at upwards of 2,100 books.
a few interesting things to note. i've bought matthew reilly's book ice station six times now. (can i get a free book, matt?) i've replaced lost-in-loan books in my terry pratchett collection on a few occasions. i finally found the cybernetic samurai after fifteen years of searching for it secondhand.
(ii) last book purchased: edward lear - the complete nonsense & other verse, vivien noakes (ed.)
bought it for $6.95 down from $24.95 from basement books, in the devonshire street tunnel, railway square, sydney. one of the best bookshops insydney, and where you'll find all kinds of cool stuff. were it not for basement books, my ipod would still be another interesting gift i'd never put to use...
two poems from edward lear to give you an idea (if you've never heard a limerick about a man from peru, i suppose)
"She sits upon her Bulbul"
She sits upon her Bulbul
Through the long long hours of night -
And o'er the dark horizon gleams
The Yashmack's fitful light.
The long Yaourt sails slowly down
The deep and craggy dell -
And from his lofty nest, loud screams
The white-plumed Asphodel.
"The Quangle Wangle's Hat" (a fragment)
On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat.
For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,
With ribbons and bibbons on every side,
And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,
So that nobody ever could see the face
Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
(iii) five books that have impacted me somehow.
1/ c.s. lewis, the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe - the first fantasy story that i ever really was caught up into, so that i never wanted to stop reading it. i think the original copy that i had was a Christmas gift in 1978, or maybe 1979. i later gave it to my best friend, duc, in maybe 1982, or 1983. this book, along with the rest of the chronicles of narnia, was formative in my journey into the realm of fantasy and science fiction, the wonderful world of s.f.
2/ william gibson, neuromancer - still to this day, i think, the best science fiction novel i've ever read. gibson's vision of a future where the internet is such an integral part of everyday life that he coined the term "the matrix" decades before the film was made that used the matrix as the means for all humans to interact with one another. "cyberspace. a consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts..." tell me that's not where we're going.
3/ dr. seuss, the cat in the hat - nothing else matches this book for sheer poetry. if i'd never before had a love for rhyme or rhythm, this book alone would have given it me. everyone should read it, everyone should learn to recite it.
4/ robert browning, selected poetry - one of the two poets we studied for the hsc in 1992, browning created characters delivering dramatic monologues, characters who were (apparently) "morally reprehensible". the bishop, the duke and porphyria's lover all showed me the power of story and atmosphere to overcome formal boundaries - the rhyme and rhythm of his poems never stood out for me; they always blended into the background, such that a goal of my own writing has always been (even if rarely if ever achieved) to use traditional forms of poetry with modern and more naturalistic language pattern. ironically, while i loved browning for his characters and form, the poet i loathed while studying her (for whom i now have much respect, gwen harwood) achieved in numerous examples exactly what i wanted to do.
5/ edwin black, i.b.m. and the holocaust - a deeply impacting book for me, which utterly underlined the incredible unlikelihood of a corporation acting out of any motive barring the profit motive. i am gradually entering the world of non-fiction thanks to this and books like richard preston's the hot zone and naomi klein's no logo, and hopefully i won't be limited to books that address what may be called sensational issues, but also less exotic ones as well. sitting on top of my e.e. cummings selected poems 1923-1958 (faber & faber), is a book by edward hirsch, how to read a poem, and fall in love with poetry. these books are gradually awakening in me a desire to read more about the world around me, not in newspapers or magazines, but in researched and considered detail. i don't expect unbiased opinion, but i want to be made to think about what i'm reading, as well as what the writer has written about. if that makes sense.
honorable mentions should go to:
- matthew reilly, ice station
- lewis carroll, alice's adventures in wonderland
- stephen king, it
- clive barker, the books of blood, vol.1-6
- terry pratchett, (everything he's written, basically!)
- john bunyan, the pilgrim's progress
- j.i. packer, knowing God (my own personal everest)
- anne rice, interview with the vampire
- j.r.r.tolkien, the lord of the rings (of course)
- richard adams, watership down
- betsy byars, the cybil war (which condemned me to be a romantic for all time...)
so there you go, that's my book meme. i have no idea who to tag for this. if you've got this far, why not do one yourself?
Friday, September 23, 2005
... grace for dummies?
bible study last night was very good. romans 12:1-8. it made me think about a few things, one bing that i need more to consider the grace shown me in the work of Christ. i know in my head that an incredible price was paid for my life, that i could never repay, but which my heart contantly fails to keep front-in-view. i forget (or ignore) the cost, i forget (or ignore) my complete in ability to repay it, with the knock-on effect that i am overwhelmed sometimes by the fear that i will lose my salvation! how can what i do lose it, any more than i could have gained it in the first place?!
the passage last night, though, makes that truth of assurance the biggest boost and the greatest... obligation. paul says he is a slave of Christ Jesus, under obligation both to the greeks and barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish, not ashamed of the gospel. why not? because it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes. the power of God. it's not just the effect of God's power, the gospel, but it is also the affecting force behind the effect.
i'd not really though that way about it before. so caught up am i in my own fears and worries that i effectively rob the gospel of its power, claiming that my foolishness is greater even than God's ineffable wisdom! how insane is that?!
another thing i've never thought that much about is the guilt paul must have felt about those whose stonings and deaths and imprisonments he'd approved. i can say that i've never actually murdered someone, not even at arm's length; paul had. i'll have to think about that some more. my understanding of grace is so incredibly limited...
the passage last night, though, makes that truth of assurance the biggest boost and the greatest... obligation. paul says he is a slave of Christ Jesus, under obligation both to the greeks and barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish, not ashamed of the gospel. why not? because it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes. the power of God. it's not just the effect of God's power, the gospel, but it is also the affecting force behind the effect.
i'd not really though that way about it before. so caught up am i in my own fears and worries that i effectively rob the gospel of its power, claiming that my foolishness is greater even than God's ineffable wisdom! how insane is that?!
another thing i've never thought that much about is the guilt paul must have felt about those whose stonings and deaths and imprisonments he'd approved. i can say that i've never actually murdered someone, not even at arm's length; paul had. i'll have to think about that some more. my understanding of grace is so incredibly limited...
Thursday, September 22, 2005
... lunch
i always get a little bit antsy (antsy? don't you mean more antsy...?) if i haven't started lunch by about 1.30pm. when i'm buying lunch, as i did today, my meal of choice is szechuan chicken and fried rice, from padstow inn (112 cahors rd, padstow; ph 9774 2475). their lunchbox is a yummy $6 and the food is always delicious.
i've had a miraculous ten minutes to sit down and ponder my week. last week started out disastrously and improved gradually to the end - i could in all honesty say that friday had been a good day! - this week started out a bit better. i definitely think that much of it is due to my regular Bible reading each morning, reading in a circular fashion through paul's letters to the churches outside rome (gepc1t2t). read in conjunction with the studying we've been doing on romans these last few months, i've found them incredibly helpful. echoes of galatians in romans; being so encouraged by paul's letters to the thessalonians; craving the joy the paul feels for the philippians... these are things i'm continuing to pray for myself, that i can have paul's heart for those he ministers to.
unfortunately, the sinful nature lends itself to being easily distracted (look, something shiny!) and it's easy to turn away to other things and forget the amazing truths of scripture. i read them and wonder that i don't trust in them more, and more solidly cling to them. i sometimes wonder i put more faith in cityrail's timetable than in the truths of the Bible!
like the proverbial chinese meal, half an hour later i feel like i'm spiritually starving. the sad truth is that it's probably not that far from the truth. how many of us, i wonder, read the Bible like a chinese menu, picking the same numbers all the time and not ever feeling as full or nourished as we could be?
i've had a miraculous ten minutes to sit down and ponder my week. last week started out disastrously and improved gradually to the end - i could in all honesty say that friday had been a good day! - this week started out a bit better. i definitely think that much of it is due to my regular Bible reading each morning, reading in a circular fashion through paul's letters to the churches outside rome (gepc1t2t). read in conjunction with the studying we've been doing on romans these last few months, i've found them incredibly helpful. echoes of galatians in romans; being so encouraged by paul's letters to the thessalonians; craving the joy the paul feels for the philippians... these are things i'm continuing to pray for myself, that i can have paul's heart for those he ministers to.
unfortunately, the sinful nature lends itself to being easily distracted (look, something shiny!) and it's easy to turn away to other things and forget the amazing truths of scripture. i read them and wonder that i don't trust in them more, and more solidly cling to them. i sometimes wonder i put more faith in cityrail's timetable than in the truths of the Bible!
like the proverbial chinese meal, half an hour later i feel like i'm spiritually starving. the sad truth is that it's probably not that far from the truth. how many of us, i wonder, read the Bible like a chinese menu, picking the same numbers all the time and not ever feeling as full or nourished as we could be?
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
... yippee-kai-ay...
oh! oh! oh, joy! oh, bliss!
i finally got my copy of the new ikea catalogue!!!
life's sweet, and heaven is where the ikea furinture doesn't need instructions!
i finally got my copy of the new ikea catalogue!!!
life's sweet, and heaven is where the ikea furinture doesn't need instructions!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)